The Greatest Showman in Gotham
by Christine M. Greenleaf
Summary: This was suggested by a guest reviewer, and something I've been wanting to write since seeing "The Greatest Showman" for the first time. Because if the Joker isn't the Greatest Showman in Gotham, who is? :-) I'm only sorry I can't replicate the incredible music in story form, but you'll have to just imagine the Rogues singing "This Is Me," as I always do ;-) Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**The Greatest Showman in Gotham**

 **Gotham City in the 19** **th** **Century**

"Smile, Jack," muttered Joseph Napier to his teenage son, as he rang the bell of the spacious mansion in front of them. "We want to make a good impression on the Quinzels."

"Why? They're still gonna look down their noses at us, whatever we do," retorted Jack Napier. "Everyone always looks down their nose at us, Dad."

"That doesn't mean we give them the satisfaction of letting them know they get to us," retorted Joseph. "You shouldn't mind what other people think of you, Jack. Just put on your best clothes, and a cheerful demeanor, and deal with whatever comes with a smile."

Jack grimaced, looking down at his patchy clothes which had been personally repaired by himself many times. "There's just gotta be more to life than this, Dad," he murmured.

"Well, there isn't," retorted Joseph. "I know you've got your head in the clouds most of the time, Jack, and you've got quite an imagination, I'll give you that. But sooner or later, you have to grow up and face reality. You have to learn to deal with life as it is."

Jack shrugged. "That seems kinda defeatist to me," he said. "Where's the fun in facing reality? I'd rather live in a world that I design."

"You're not rich enough for that," snapped Joseph. "And only rich people can live the life they want. Fun is for people like the Quinzels. You and I are stuck with our miserable lot in life, so just get used to it, Jack."

The front door was opened at that moment by a stern-looking man. "Mr. Quinzel?" asked Joseph, removing his hat.

"You must be the tailor – come in," said Mr. Quinzel, holding open the door for him.

"Joseph Napier, sir, at your service," said Joseph, bowing. "This is my son, Jack, also my apprentice."

"How do you do?" asked Mr. Quinzel, in a tone that implied he didn't really care. "We'll have the fitting in the living room if you don't mind."

"Not at all – what a lovely place you've got here, if I may say so," said Joseph, as he and Jack followed Mr. Quinzel down the hall. "You have exquisite taste, Mr. Quinzel."

"Thank you – it's actually my wife's doing, for the most part," said Mr. Quinzel, gesturing them into a room. "Allow me to introduce her. Mr. Napier, my wife Gladys, and my daughter, Harleen."

Jack's smile, which had been one of forced politeness, suddenly fell as he gazed upon Harleen Quinzel. She was a stunningly beautiful young woman, with golden hair and wide, blue eyes which looked back at him with a keen interest. And one of the things that most interested him, aside from her beauty, was the paper she was reading.

"You're a fan of _The Police Gazette_?" he asked, surprised.

Mr. Quinzel sighed. "Harleen, I have told you, that is not suitable reading material for young ladies!" he snapped, snatching it out of her hands. "It prints the most lurid stories of crimes and criminals and all manner of ghastly, obscene freaks!"

"What should I be reading, Father?" demanded Harleen. "Ladies journals about fashion and baking and husband hunting?"

"At least that might actually result in you getting a husband!" snapped her father. "While reading this nonsense will only put any sane man off!"

He tossed the paper into the fire. "Now come get measured for your new gown, which will also hopefully contribute to you finding a husband," he said. "Honestly, I'm nearly at my wit's end with you – there's only so much I can do to brush up your appearance, but then you open your mouth and put off any decent man."

Harleen came to stand next to her father, tears in her eyes. "Jack, you take care of her," said Joseph, opening his bag. "I'll measure Mr. Quinzel for his suit."

Jack nodded. "I think I'll…need a little more light – maybe we could go over by the fire?" he asked.

"As you wish," said Mr. Quinzel, nodding.

Harleen followed Jack over to the fire, and when he was sure they were out of earshot, Jack whispered, "Did you read that story last week about those Ripper murders in England?"

Harleen nodded. "Just horrible. You have to wonder what kind of mind would do something like that."

"A really messed up one," said Jack, nodding as he took out the tape measure. "Or just a huge attention-seeker. Somebody who understands that people are fascinated by the macabre and bizarre, anyway."

"Well, that's certainly true," agreed Harleen. "Although my father thinks I shouldn't be. Ladies should not wish to hear about such things, but I can't help being interested."

"Have you been to the wax museum on Kane Street yet?" asked Jack. "They have a huge section full of criminals – probably not very accurate, but certainly gory enough."

"My father would never allow me in such a place," said Harleen. "However much I might like to go."

Jack said nothing, measuring her height and arm span. "You wanna go with me?" he asked at last.

She stared at him. "I beg your pardon?" she asked.

"I could take you – you could sneak out tonight, out the window or something, and we could go together," he said. "It's really worth seeing if you're into the crime stuff."

"I've just met you," said Harleen, astonished. "And you ask me if I want to sneak out of my home in the middle of the night and accompany a total stranger to a crime exhibition at a wax museum?"

He shrugged. "Well, yeah. I mean, you said you wanted to go, and if your father won't let you…"

"Mr. Napier, I would have to be absolutely crazy to do a thing like that," she interrupted.

He slid the tape measure around her waist, pulling her close. "Well…maybe it's time to be a little crazy, toots," he murmured.

"You are an impudent man," said Harleen, gazing back into his wild green eyes.

"Is that a no?" he asked, smiling at her.

"I didn't say that, did I?" she asked, smiling back.

"You also didn't say yes," he said.

"Of course not," she replied. "A lady could not possibly say yes to such a proposition. But then again, if the exhibition is as good as you say, it would be a crime to miss it, and a lady would never be party to a crime. I will have to consider which is the lesser of two evils. Now do you have any more measurements to do, or may I go?"

"Nope, that's it," he said, removing the tape measure from around her waist. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I hope to see you soon, Miss Quinzel."

"Yes, you will, Mr. Napier," she replied, grinning at him. "You can count on that."

"What on earth did you think you were doing, flirting with the Quinzel girl like that?" demanded Joseph Napier, as he and his son left the house. "It's a damn good thing her father didn't notice, or he'd have thrown us both out on the spot! She's far, far too good for the likes of you, Jack."

"I think that's for her to decide," retorted Jack. "And I'll find out what she's decided soon enough. There's something special about her, Dad. Something in her eyes."

"What, madness?" demanded Joseph. "She would have to be, to get involved with you."

"Maybe that," agreed Jack. "We'll just have to wait and see."


	2. Chapter 2

Later that evening, Jack was waiting outside the Quinzel's house, glancing up at the windows to see if he could see Harleen sneaking out. Suddenly, one of the windows was raised up, and Jack saw Harleen's face peering out.

"You can jump if you want," he said, holding out his arms as she climbed over the ledge and onto the drainpipe. "I'll catch you."

"Don't be impertinent," she retorted. "I can manage perfectly fine without your help."

"Seems like you've done this before," he commented, as she shimmied down the drainpipe.

"No," she said, wiping the hair out of her face. "But I'm a fast learner."

He smiled, offering her his arm. "Shall we?"

"If my father knew I was doing anything like this, he'd lock me in an asylum and throw away the key," commented Harleen, as they strolled down the street together.

"There was a story about a man doing that to his wife in _The Police Gazette_ a few months back, as a way of silencing her so she wouldn't ruin his political career," said Jack, nodding. "Almost makes you wonder if half the lunatics in an asylum are actually insane. Maybe they're less crazy and more political prisoners. Or disobedient daughters," he added, nodding at her.

"Yes, well, my father's one obsession in life, as you probably heard, is marrying me off," retorted Harleen. "It seems like he'd settle for anyone at this point."

"Are you actually telling me that a stunning gal like you ain't got men lining up around the block to court you?" asked Jack.

She shrugged. "It's like Father said – I open my mouth and I run them off. He says I'm too outspoken, or I choose unsuitable subjects for conversation, or I'm too confrontational, or a hundred other criticisms. Whatever it is, I make men uncomfortable – apparently they're not used to dealing with women with brains."

"Well, idiots are never used to dealing with anyone with a brain," said Jack, shrugging. "Which clearly all your suitors have been. Up until me, of course."

"Do you count yourself as my suitor, Mr. Napier?" she asked with a grin.

"If that's agreeable to you, Miss Quinzel," he said, nodding.

"Yes, it's quite agreeable," she said, smiling. "Only I know so very little about you, and I'd like to know a bit more."

Jack shrugged. "What's to know? I'm the son of a tailor who can barely afford to feed himself. We live in an overcrowded tenement that gets really drafty in the winter. And I don't want to live like that anymore. I got a million dreams in this head of mine, a million dreams of a better life I'm gonna make for myself. I know I can do it, because I can see that future so clearly in front of me, like it's already real. And I'm gonna make it real."

"What sort of future do you want?" she asked.

"What does any man want?" asked Jack. "Happiness, money, fame, and fortune. And family, that's important too - a loving wife and a couple kids…"

"Which you're going to provide for how?" interrupted Harleen.

"Oh, I got a lotta skills, toots!" he chuckled. "Don't you worry about that! As you can see, one of them is my roguish charm, which can convince people like yourself to go out with men they've just met."

"Yes, charming rogues are often considered quite a catch in the husband market," agreed Harleen, sarcastically. "They're just the type of man to provide a safe and stable home for a family."

"Safe and stable ain't really my style, toots," said Jack. "If you want that in a man, you're better off looking somewhere else. I'm all about the adventure and the excitement and the fun. Life with me will be a tightrope walk – a challenging and dangerous way to live, but one that comes with a breathtaking view."

"And if I ever fell off this tightrope, would you catch me?" asked Harleen.

He smiled at her, and raised her hand to his lips. "If you can only count on one thing in your life, toots, you can count on that. I'll always be there to catch you if you fall."

"As long as I have your promise, Mr. Napier," she said, taking his hand and smiling at him. "I'm sure I can manage without the safety and stability."

They arrived at the wax museum, and headed straight for the chamber of horrors. "Excuse me, sir, but this might not be an appropriate exhibition for the young lady," said the proprietor, stopping them as they were about to head through. "Women have been known to faint at the sight."

"This woman won't," retorted Harleen.

"You heard her," said Jack, shrugging. "I think she's got a taste for the morbidly violent. I like that in a dame."

The proprietor shrugged. "Very well, but I won't be held responsible for any injury she sustains should she faint."

"Don't worry – I've just promised to always catch her if she should fall," replied Jack, grinning at Harleen. "Which I guess includes fainting."

"Then prepare to be amazed, awestruck, and appalled at the most horrific murderers of the century!" announced the proprietor, leading them into a room and gesturing to the wax figures.

"You were right, Mr. Napier – it's not very accurate," commented Harleen, looking at the display in front of them. "There would probably be a lot more blood if someone had been stabbed that many times."

"Yeah, the murderer would be covered in it," agreed Jack. "No way he'd be able to keep that fancy evening suit all shiny and clean."

"Also, the knife's in the wrong hand," pointed out Harley. "The stab wounds on the body are clearly made by somebody right handed, but he's got the bloody knife in his left."

"We should fix that," said Jack, looking around and then ducking under the barrier that separated the public from the exhibition.

"Mr. Napier, what are you doing?" hissed Harleen. "Mr. Napier, come back!"

He ignored her, taking the fake knife from the dummy. "Hey, I'll freeze like this and scare people who think I'm part of the exhibition!" he chuckled. "It's gonna be a hilarious prank – just watch!"

Harleen struggled to contain her giggles as Jack struck a pose. An unsuspecting couple came along a few moments later, and nearly jumped out of their skin as Jack suddenly lunged forward, threatening them with the knife. Harleen burst into fits of laughter, and Jack lay down in the exhibit. "This time I'm gonna be a body!" he chuckled. "Watch me scare the living daylights out of 'em when the dead start moving!"

The next spectators were a group of young women, who just screamed and dashed off when Jack suddenly sat up, exclaiming, "I'm alive! It's a miracle!"

Harleen's hysterical laughter and the screaming of the guests eventually attracted the attention of the proprietor. "Hey, get outta there!" he snapped at Jack. "These exhibits are for display only! If you wanna interact with the entertainment, there's a freak show around the corner which you can throw things at!"

"Why would anyone want to do that?" asked Harleen, puzzled.

"Because they're freaks," retorted the proprietor, shrugging. "They're unnatural, so they deserve to be treated unnaturally. It's funny."

"I don't think you and I share the same sense of humor, sir," replied Harleen. "No matter what they look like, they're people, and they deserve to be treated with respect."

"You go look at 'em, lady," retorted the proprietor. "Whatever they are, they ain't people. And you might as well go - since I own both properties, your ticket to the wax museum gets you in half price at the freak show."

Harleen was visibly upset, and Jack spoke up. "You should stick to displaying wax figures, pal," he said, taking the tickets out of his pocket and ripping them up. "People aren't exhibits to be poked and prodded and profited off. Frankly, with your attitude, no matter how ugly those freaks are, you're even worse on the inside."

He tossed the remains of the tickets at him and then took Harleen's arm. "C'mon, toots, let's go."

"Thank you," said Harleen, managing a smile at Jack once they were outside. "For coming to my defense."

"Hey, I agree with you," he said, shrugging. "Nobody should be treated badly just because they look funny. They can't help how they look, but we can help how we act. I've never been the kinda guy whose idea of entertainment means pointing and laughing at people just because they're different. It's more playing practical jokes and pranking people, as you saw in the wax museum."

"I like it," said Harleen. "Some people do need to be shaken out of their comfortable little bubbles now and again."

"Like you, Miss Quinzel?" he asked, grinning. "By accompanying a charming rogue on an evening out on the town?"

"Precisely, Mr. Napier," she said, grinning back.

"You can call me Jack, y'know," he said. "That's what my friends call me, and I'm really hoping we can become very close friends, Miss Quinzel."

"You can call me Harley," she replied. "And I'm really hoping we can be more than very close friends, Jack."

She raised herself up and kissed his cheek tenderly. "Now come on," she said, taking his hand and dragging him off down the street. "You're going to take me dancing."


	3. Chapter 3

"And, y'know, I guess I was a good enough dancer for her, because your Mommy agreed to marry me when I asked her at the end of our first date," said Jack to his twin children several years later. "Her father wasn't too pleased about it, as you might imagine, and neither was mine, but he was dead before our wedding, which had nothing to do with me, despite what the police suspected…"

"Daddy, we've all heard the story of how you met Mommy before, and it's mushy and terrible," said J.J., rolling his eyes.

"No, it's not!" protested Arleen. "It's sweet and romantic! You and Mommy just knew you were meant to be together, huh, Daddy? Just like a fairytale?"

"Well, it was actually more like a musical," said Jack, nodding. "Imagine dancing in the moonlight on the roof of a big city type stuff. But yeah, we knew we shared the same type of insanity – call it mad love."

"Yes, everyone certainly did think I was mad to marry you," agreed Harley, entering the room at that moment carrying a tray with what little they had for dinner. "A man with absolutely no money, and no future prospects. But I said as long as I had your father, I had everything I needed, because he's the guy who makes me smile," she said, planting a kiss on his lips.

"And then you two both came along at the same time, and scraping a living together became a little more difficult than it already was," said Jack. "I did odd jobs to make ends meet, but none of them ever worked out into a long-term thing, and I'm more a spontaneous kinda guy anyway. Can't get tied down to one boring, dead-end, office job, not when there's so much fun to be had elsewhere."

"Your father's spontaneity is what makes our life together so interesting," said Harley with a grin.

"Anyway, I've thought long and hard about this, and I think the real turning point in my career and my destiny is gonna be this circus idea," continued Jack.

"Your father is a natural clown," agreed Harley, handing out the small bowls of gruel to her children and her husband. "He always knows how to make people laugh."

"And your mother is a natural acrobat," said Jack, grinning at her. "She's super limber and flexible, and she's got the perfect body for it. She's got the perfect body in general, really."

Harley kissed him again, and J.J. made a face. "That's mushy and terrible too," he said.

"But you can't really make a circus with just two people, so that's why we were hanging the flyers today," continued Jack.

"Do you think anybody is gonna read them?" asked Arleen, blowing on her gruel to cool it.

"I hope so," said Jack. "We've advertised for unique persons and curiosities, and I think a lotta people like to think of themselves as unique. Whether they are or not, however, I'll have to be the judge."

"You mean you're gonna audition them?" asked J.J. "Won't you need a stage for that?"

"Nah, I'm a pretty good judge of what's unique and curious just by looking," said Jack. "We're just gonna have 'em come here and tell me what they can do. Everybody's got an act, kiddies, even if they don't know it yet."

"What's our act?" asked Arleen.

"Right now, it's being the best kiddies anyone could ever ask for," said Harley, kissing them both. "And it's getting late, so finish your supper and head to bed."

"But we wanna see the curiosities when they come!" protested J.J.

"All right, you can stay up and see one," said Jack, nodding. "But that's it."

At that moment, there was a knock on the door of the small tenement. "Oooh, a unique persons!" squealed Arleen, clapping her hands.

"I'll get it!" cried J.J., racing toward the door and flinging it open.

A woman stood there, concealed in a cloak. She started back in surprise when she saw a child opening the door. "Uh…hi," she stammered. "Are your parents home? I have…this," she said, holding out the flyer they had posted this morning.

"Please come in," said Harley, joining J.J. at the door with a welcoming smile. "Miss…?"

"People call me Ivy," said the woman.

"Please come in, Miss Ivy," said Harley. "I'm Harleen Napier, but my friends call me Harley. And this is my husband, Jack, who's the one looking to put together a circus."

"A circus of freaks, is that it?" asked the woman, whose piercing green eyes studied Jack from behind her hood.

"I don't care for that term," said Jack, shaking his head. "I'm not interested in exploiting people like a freak show. I just want to entertain people by amazing them, by letting them see some unique individuals with unique skills, and then maybe they'll learn to appreciate the differences, rather than fear them."

"That sounds very nice," said the woman, nodding. "But I doubt you'll be able to accomplish that. People always hate and fear what they don't understand, and you can't change that."

"I'm not interested in changing that," replied Jack. "I'm interested in making people confront that. I've been to freak shows, and the master of the ceremonies encourages people to laugh and jeer and throw things, ramping up the fear and hate. I encourage people to laugh, but to laugh for joy. To laugh in wonder and astonishment at what people can do, if they're courageous enough to live their lives authentically. I want them to applaud at the feats of those brave enough to realize they're different, and who embrace that, and celebrate that. And that's what my show is all about."

He held out his hand to the woman. "So tell me, Miss Ivy, what can you do?"

She said nothing, but slowly removed the hood from her face, revealing that her skin was bright green, which contrasted sharply with her bright red hair. "Wow," murmured Arleen, staring at her in wonder.

"You're beautiful," murmured J.J.

Ivy smiled at him. "Thank you," she said.

"Yeah, beautiful for a vegetable!" chuckled Jack. "What did you do, bathe in spinach juice?"

"All right, I'm leaving," snapped Ivy, turning to go.

"Hey, hey, no, it's a joke!" exclaimed Jack. "It's a joke! I do that – I'm the clown, y'see. People call me the Joker."

"You're not very funny for a clown," she retorted.

"And what are you, besides green?" he asked.

She smiled, and then held out her hand toward the window of the apartment. The flowers which spilled over the railing in the window-boxes suddenly perked up, and slid into the room, draping themselves over Ivy. "I have the power to control plant-life," she retorted. "I daresay that's a spectacle people haven't seen before."

"She's magic, Daddy!" exclaimed Arleen. "She's gotta be in the show, huh?"

"Yeah, maybe," said Jack, shrugging. "Though somebody doing real magic is probably gonna show me up, so I'm not sure I want that…"

"Please, Daddy?" pleaded J.J. "She's so talented and pretty!"

The twins alternated between pleases, and Jack finally relented. "All right – she's in the show," he said. "But you do the plant tricks I tell you, and no improvising," he snapped, glaring at her.

"Whatever you say," said Ivy, with a smile. "Let me know when you want to start rehearsing – here's my address," she said, handing him a card. "See you around, Mr. Napier. Harley. Kids," she said, smiling at them as she left.

"All righty – one down!" exclaimed Jack as the door shut. "And hopefully lots more to go!"


	4. Chapter 4

"And why exactly do you think you qualify as a unique person or curiosity?" asked Jack, studying the man in front of him.

The man stared back, and cleared his throat. "Well, I'm…a crocodile man, so…"

"What is that, exactly? Skin condition?" asked Jack, leaning forward to examine the man more closely. "Were you born with that? Is your mother the crocodile half, or is it your dad?"

"Puddin', I'm not sure that's relevant," said Harley, pulling him back. "We'll gladly have you in our show, Mr. Jones," she said, smiling at the man.

"Yeah, but that name's gonna have to go," said Jack, nodding. "How about Killer Croc?"

"Uh…how exactly is that gonna make people less scared of me?" asked the man, slowly.

"It's not, but this is showbusiness!" snapped Jack. "You gotta draw crowds somehow! And what better way than by thriving off controversy, and playing off fear?"

"My thoughts exactly," said the next man in line, a rather unremarkable, mild-looking man with red hair and glasses.

"And what makes you think you qualify as a unique person or curiosity?" asked Jack, beckoning him forward.

"I am a unique person in that I have invented a strain of toxin which plays on the fear center of the human brain," replied the man, holding out a small vial. "It causes the affected person to hallucinate whatever he or she fears most. I call it Professor Jonathan Crane's Patented Fear Toxin. Patent pending."

"Gee, that's kinda a mouthful, Professor Crane," said Jack, taking the vial.

"I honestly wouldn't open that if I were you," said the man behind Crane, a small man wearing a top hat. "Its effects are most potent."

"Don't spoil the entertainment, Jervis!" snapped Crane, rounding on him.

"Are you two together?" asked Jack, pointing at them.

"If by together you mean friends and roommates, then yes," said the man in the top hat, nodding. "But if you mean that we have the same unique skill, then no. My unique talent is much less random, and much more precise than just causing mass chaos. I have the ability to control minds," he said, holding out a card with some wires on it. "Mostly I've used it on animals to make them perform tricks, which I daresay would be useful in a circus…"

"Because you have no sense of vision, Jervis," snapped Crane. "He doesn't see the limitless potential the ability to control minds presents."

"Yeah, kinda dangerous in the wrong hands," agreed Jack, studying the cards. "Which of course mine are absolutely not…"

"Puddin', give 'em back," said Harley, sternly.

"No problemo, toots," said Jack, handing them back.

"All of them," said the man in the top hat. Jack growled, removing the one he had stashed down his sleeve.

"Fine, ruin my fun," he muttered, handing it back to him.

"As the inventor of mind-control, I feel it my duty and responsibility to see that it is only used in a safe and responsible manner, for harmless entertainment purposes," said the man in the top hat. "Besides, I'm not at all sure there aren't any long term harmful effects, and I'd rather test it on animals than humans."

"Well, there we differ," said Jack, nodding. "But, y'know, it's your thing. Which makes you a member of our show – welcome aboard," he said, holding out his hand.

"Oh, that's very kind," said the man in the top hat, smiling as he reached out to shake Jack's hand, and then jumping back as he was shocked by a joy buzzer.

"I'm the clown – what do you expect?" asked Jack. "Just sign here, please, Mr…?"

"Tetch, Jervis Tetch," replied the man, rubbing his right hand as he signed the contract with his left.

"What about my fear toxin?" asked Crane. "The effects on an audience would be most interesting to observe…"

"Yeah, while mass terror is fun, I think we need a hook for it," said Jack. "I mean, who would you be? Just a scary guy? The Fear-bringer?"

"I've always liked Fear-monger," said Crane, nodding.

"No, that's not catchy," retorted Jack. "Geez, you really don't have any sense for showbusiness, do you? No wonder you can't patent your fear toxin thing – to sell this kinda crap, you need talent and charisma, and I can see that you don't have either."

"You're a terribly rude man, and I'm not certain I want to work for you," retorted Crane. "Good evening, sir…"

"Now wait a minute, Jonathan, we said we were doing this freak show thing together," said Tetch.

"This isn't a freak show," retorted Jack. "But could you hand this contract to the giant crocodile man to sign, please?"

"Plus he might be able to help you market your toxin since he's clearly got a flair for this showbusiness thing…" continued Tetch.

"I'd listen to your boyfriend, Craney," said Jack, nodding.

"He's not my boyfriend," growled Crane.

"Well, I'm honestly not sure you can do any better," said Jack. "Same goes for my show, by the way. Just give me a minute to think of a hook – it'll come to me. We got the World's Strongest Man, otherwise known as Bane…"

"My name is not Bane," spoke up the man Jack was referring to.

"It is now," retorted Jack. "We got Killer Croc, and the Human Penguin..."

"Can't we go with Oswald Cobblepot?" asked the man, sighing.

"No, we're going with Penguin!" snapped Jack. "You shouldn't dress like one if you don't want to be compared to one! And we got the Iceman, Mr. Freeze…"

"It's actually Dr. Fries," spoke up another man. "And I'm only doing this to pay my wife's medical bills…"

"Mr. Freeze is catchier," replied Jack. "And I didn't ask for your life story, pal. We got the Man of Clay, or Clayface, I guess..."

"I'm the greatest actor who ever lived, and you're going to give me that name?" demanded Clayface. "Who's going to take me seriously?"

"I hate to break it to you, Clay, but since your accident, you're only fit for comedy," retorted Jack. "And we got the Ventriloquist and his dummy, but which is which?"

"I'm Arnold Wekser, the Ventriloquist, and this is my dummy Albert…" began the Ventriloquist, but gasped in horror as Jack sliced a knife across the dummy's face.

"Now he's Mr. Scarface," Jack retorted.

"What is it with you and faces, puddin'?" asked Harley. "Clayface, Scarface…"

"They're names that'll look good on a poster," said Jack. "And you're gonna be…the Mad Hatter," he said, pointing at the top hat Tetch was wearing.

"Oh yes, how very droll," said Tetch, nodding. "I am rather a fan of _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_..."

"Yeah, it's because you're gonna mind control animals with hats," said Jack. "People are gonna pay through the nose to see that. Who doesn't love animals in hats? And you're gonna be…" He trailed off, pointing at Crane. "Aw, c'mon, it feels like it's staring me in the face…"

"What about the Scarecrow, puddin'?" asked Harley.

"Yes, that's it!" exclaimed Jack. "That's exactly what he looks like! The Living Scarecrow!"

"I beg your pardon?" demanded Crane.

"I just meant that it's something intended to scare, not that he looks like it…" began Harley.

"But he does – great of you to notice, dollface," said Jack, pinching her cheek. "He's tall and skinny and lanky and bony – I can't believe I didn't see it before. He looks exactly like a scarecrow come to life!"

"Right, I'm actually leaving," said Crane, turning to go.

"I'm not being thrown into this mess alone," snapped Tetch. "You're staying, Jonathan."

"You'll have Edward," said Crane, nodding at the man behind him. "He's sure to be accepted into the freak show."

"Again, it's not a freak show, and what makes you an outcast of society who'll never be able to live a normal life?" asked Jack, beckoning the man forward.

"Well, I believe it has to do with my riddle obsession," replied the man. "I can formulate the cleverest and most perplexing of conundrums on a whim, riddles that have stumped even the greatest minds, for my mind is greater than them all."

Jack just looked at him. "And…how am I supposed to market that for entertainment purposes?" he asked.

"Well, I could ask the audience riddles, and then bask in the total silence as everyone furrows their brows in bafflement trying to solve them…" began Edward.

"You think having the audience sitting quietly and thinking is entertainment?" demanded Jack. "Are you a total moron?"

"I'm the smartest man who ever lived…" began Edward.

"Clearly not, if your idea of entertainment is you asking randomers riddles!" snapped Jack. "Nobody's gonna pay to see that! I mean, Jesus, what kinda boring freak would find that fun? This ain't a freak show, so you definitely won't fit in! Just get the hell out right now!"

"But…" began Edward.

"Right now!" repeated Jack, throwing his finger at the door.

"Now you have to stay, Jonathan," said Tetch, as Edward left.

"Yes, all right," sighed Crane. "But it's under protest."

"Protest or not, we have a show!" exclaimed Jack. "Ladies and gentlemen and everything in between, I present to you, the Joker's Circus of Fun!"

Despite its catchy title, this was far from the last protest the Joker's Circus of Fun would have to endure.


	5. Chapter 5

" _There's no business like showbusiness like no business I know_ ," sang the Joker to himself as he applied his clown makeup in the mirror. He frowned suddenly. "Wait, that's the wrong show," he said. "I think it's about time for _Come Alive_ in this one…"

"You ready, puddin'?" asked Harley, popping her head into the makeshift dressing room.

"In a second," said Joker, putting the finishing touches on his makeup. "We gotta keep the audience in suspense, so they'll be on the edge of their seat. By the way, have we got an audience?"

"Yeah, a big one," said Harley, sitting down next to him. "Those posters you put up must have done the trick."

"Knew it," said Joker, nodding. "You put up pictures of freaks, and people are drawn by their morbid curiosity."

"We might even earn enough in ticket sales to pay back the loan on this place eventually," said Harley. "I still don't know how you managed to talk the bank into giving you one."

"My natural charm and charisma, pumpkin, I told you," he said. "The same way I got you to marry me."

"I doubt the bank loves you the way I do," she said, kissing his cheek. "So it didn't have anything to do with that robbery that was reported on the First National Bank a few weeks ago?"

"I couldn't possibly comment on that, baby," he said. "What would a humble clown like me know about crime? Anyway, sometimes if people won't help you through legal means, you have to resort to illegal ones. Now stop pawing me - you'll make the makeup run," he said, pushing her gently away.

"How do you expect me to resist when you look so gorgeous?" she asked, grinning.

"So do you," he said, nodding at her red and black leotard. "The kiddies are gonna be really proud of their folks tonight. They have got front row seats, right? We need a plant in the audience who's gonna naturally cheer for us."

"They're there now with Mrs. Leland, snacking on popcorn and cotton candy," said Harley. "She said she won't add anything to the rent for her babysitting services."

"Thank goodness," said Joker. "There's no way we can afford it on top of her rent. For now."

Harley kissed him again, despite his makeup protest. "I'm really proud of you, you know," she said. "And even if this show ain't the hit you're hoping for, I want you to know that I have everything I've ever needed right here. You, me, and our kiddies. It's the perfect life I've always dreamed of."

"It's part of mine," agreed Joker. "But you and the kiddies deserve more than what I've given you so far. You deserve riches beyond your wildest dreams, and you deserve to be living the high life. I wanna give you what you deserve."

"You already have," she replied. "By being the best father and husband anyone could ask for. The rest of that stuff doesn't matter, and it's overrated – believe me, I know, having come from the high life. We have fun and laughter and magic in our lives – what more could anyone want?"

He kissed her, despite his former makeup protest. "You're right, baby," he said. "But I think this showman thing is in my blood. I'm a born entertainer, and I gotta try this. And if I make a success of myself along the way, that's just a bonus, ain't it?"

Harley was going to respond when the door was thrown open angrily. "Poison Ivy?!" demanded Ivy, holding out a flyer with her picture and that name on it. "Really?! What about all that crap about making people not afraid of us and celebrating what makes us special?! And then you deliberately set out to make me more intimidating and freakish?!"

"You're kinda doing that to yourself right now," retorted Joker. "Just calm down, Plant Lady. This is just simple marketing – we have to draw the crowds first by whatever means necessary, and crowds love the morbidly fascinating and freakish. Nobody's gonna learn to accept you if they don't see you first. You can go out there being proud of yourself, but you're not gonna change anybody's minds if you ain't got an audience. We've gotta get bodies in seats before we can get people to understand, and the way we do that is by advertising the unusual."

"I think you're just a charlatan," snapped Ivy. "Who's convinced us all that you're on our side, but really you're exploiting us just as badly as any freak show owner!"

"You can think that if you want," retorted Joker. "But you're free to leave if you don't wanna be in the show. Or you can stick around and see what I can do."

Ivy glared at him. "I'll stick around…for now," she muttered, heading for the door.

"Just like a weed," muttered Joker. "Or a thorn in my side."

"I heard that!" she snapped.

Joker followed her out the door, to be met with the rest of the circus looking equally annoyed. "J, this isn't going to work," snapped Crane. "The crowd out there is expecting freaks, and expecting to be able to mock them."

"That's what I'm here for, Johnny," retorted Joker. "To foil their expectations, to turn their frowns upside down, and to turn the mockery on themselves. That's what the clown always does – he reveals the absurdity of everyday life by pointing out how ridiculous it is. Now, you did water down your little fear toxin like I asked, didn't you? I don't want mass hysteria – just a little whiff of hallucination."

"Under duress, I did," agreed Crane, nodding. "But honestly, what's the point of using my fear toxin if not for mass terror?"

"Because mass terror is hard to control, and I like to control an audience," retorted Joker. "Besides, my kiddies are out there, and I don't want them frightened."

"They'll be scared of me," muttered Croc. "Everyone always is."

"They won't be," said Joker, confidently. "And they'll show everyone there's nothing to be afraid of. You all just need to trust me."

"I still think you're a charlatan," muttered Ivy.

"And a shyster," agreed Clayface, nodding.

"An imposter," agreed Freeze.

"A fraud," said Bane.

"You're damn right I am," agreed Joker, nodding as he placed a top hat on his head to complete his purple suit. "And a damn good one."

He headed out into the ring from behind the curtain without further ado, spreading his arms. "Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for!" he exclaimed. "The Joker's Circus of Fun is about to begin! I'm your host, the Joker, and I can guarantee you a night you're going to remember for a long, long time! Now I know why you're all here – you lead tedious, miserable little lives, and you want to break the monotony of it all by seeing something unusual, something bizarre, something sensational! Well, you've come to the right place! Here the impossible is gonna come true, and you are going to be amazed, astonished, and on the edge of your seat for the unforgettable thrill ride of your life! Now let me introduce you to some of my friends who are going to be entertaining you tonight! I can guarantee you've never seen anyone like them before! Please put your hands together for the beautiful and deadly Poison Ivy!"

"I'm not going out there," muttered Ivy, as Joker gestured her forward. "I'm not going out there to be pointed and laughed at…"

"Trust him," said Harley, smiling at her. "They're gonna love you. Plus the kiddies are out there, and they do already. So do it for them."

Ivy took a deep breath, but nodded, and stepped out into the ring. She stared back at the shocked and horrified faces, which she had seen many times before, but her attention was suddenly averted by the cheering and burst of applause coming from Arleen and J.J. in the front row.

"Yay, Ivy!" they cried. "Do magic!"

Ivy smiled at them and obeyed, reaching out an arm and summoning her plants. As they slithered over and wrapped themselves around her, there were gasps of awe and astonishment from the audience, but not one jeer or laugh. They sat, spellbound, as Ivy's plants obeyed her every whim, and everyone's faces reflected Arleen and J.J.'s, full of admiration and wonder.

And the wonders never ceased, thanks to the Joker, who moved flawlessly from act to act, amazing the audience with every new member of the circus who appeared. If anyone had come expecting a freak show, they were certainly disappointed, but nobody left feeling disappointed. Instead they left feeling inspired and thrilled, as the Joker promised they would be.

Except for one audience member, who had sat through the whole show with a bored, sullen look on his face, occasionally scribbling notes on a small pad of paper. This man was not a fan of the unusual, in whatever form – he was a fan of order, and the mad whirlwind of the circus annoyed him more than anything else. This was a man who had not let the shadow of a smile or the whisper of a laugh cross his face for many years, not since his parents' death when he was a boy. This man was Bruce Wayne.


	6. Chapter 6

" _The Clown Prince of Humbug_ ," read the Joker in the paper the next morning. " _The Joker's Circus of Fun is anything but, providing an endless parade of freaks and monsters to perform distasteful acts bordering on the criminal. This degrading show is an assault on decency, an affront to any right-thinking human being, and everyone involved with it should be ashamed_. High praise indeed from Mr. Bruce Wayne," he said, looking up at Harley who was serving him and the children breakfast.

"You can't please everyone, puddin'," said Harley, shrugging as she kissed him. "Everyone else really enjoyed it. You saw all the smiling faces as the audience left."

"We enjoyed it, Daddy," said J.J.

"We enjoyed it so much that we wanna go again tonight," said Arleen.

"Well, you two obviously know best," said Joker, kissing them. "Who does this Bruce Wayne think he is anyway?"

"He's the richest man in Gotham," replied Harley. "Wealthy socialite and heir to the Wayne family fortune."

"So why does he need a job as a theater critic?" asked Joker.

"I think it's just a hobby for him," replied Harley. "The rich get bored easily, believe me. We should be thankful he just wants to be a theater critic rather than some vigilante nutcase or something."

"Well, if he's a theater critic who can't find joy in the theater, then he's the Humbug, not me," retorted Joker. "Still, there's no such thing as bad press," he said, folding up the paper. "All publicity is good publicity if it gets the word out about the show. And I've always been the kinda guy who thrives off controversy. Let 'em write the worst about me – they're just words, and words can't hurt me."

"That's a good attitude, puddin'," said Harley, kissing him as she sat down to breakfast.

"Still…I wonder what Brucie's problem is," said Joker, glancing at the paper again. "There's gotta be something wrong with him, right? I mean, everyone else enjoyed it, so he's the odd one out here. You think maybe if I talked to him, I could persuade him that the show ain't so bad?"

"I wouldn't, puddin'," said Harley. "I'd just ignore it. It's just one bad review, after all."

"But he speaks for the rich snobs of this town - heck, he probably does their thinking for them," said Joker. "Maybe if I can get him on my side, I can get them on my side too."

"Why would you want the rich snobs on your side?" asked Harley. "I would hope we'd try to associate with them as little as possible."

"Well, once we're rich, baby, they're gonna be our peers," said Joker. "And we should get along with our peers. We don't want the kiddies being outcasts or nothing."

"I thought you were on the side of the outcasts," replied Harley. "You don't need everyone to love you, puddin'. Just a few good people. Besides, there's nothing I'd rather be than an outcast as long as I'm with you."

"Me too, Daddy," said Arleen.

"Me three," agreed J.J.

Joker smiled, and kissed Harley. "You're a sweet kid. You all are," he added to his children. "And you deserve better," he murmured under his breath as he tucked into his breakfast. "And I'll get it for you, I swear it."

…

Several weeks passed, and the Joker's Circus of Fun continued to be a flat-out success. It earned both its founder and its employees a comfortable living, although Joker and his family chose to remain in their apartment because of Mrs. Leland, who had always been very considerate of them, and who rented out a whole floor to them now.

As the audience for the circus grew, so did the protests, sparked by Bruce Wayne's continued attack in the press on what he termed the gross indecency and offensiveness of the show. Unfortunately for him, the controversial nature of his criticisms only drew more audiences, as the Joker predicated it would. But unfortunately for the Joker, the audiences were more of the same, and not Bruce or his peers. And despite Harley's insistence that such things didn't matter, the whispered mutterings of disapproval whenever he or his family were seen in public irked him. And as a man who had always been very persuasive, he was determined to persuade these people that he and his family were more than a joke.

So one evening before the circus, Joker headed out of the center of Gotham toward the outskirts, where the richer people dwelled. He knocked on the door of stately Wayne Manor, which was ablaze with light, and full of people clearly enjoying a party.

The door was opened by Bruce Wayne's butler, Alfred. "May I help you?" he asked, eyeing the Joker's clown makeup and purple suit distastefully.

"Yeah, I'd like to speak to Bruce Wayne, please," said Joker. "The name's the Joker."

"Mr. Wayne is entertaining guests at the moment," replied Alfred. "But I shall inform him that you stopped by…" he said, shutting the door.

Joker grabbed it before it could close. "Or I could tell him myself," he said. "And save you the trouble. But you could do me a favor and get me a drink," he said, clapping Alfred on the shoulder as he entered the foyer, which was full of well-dressed people who turned to glare at him in disapproval.

"Brucie, there you are!" exclaimed Joker, striding over to him. "I recognized you from your photo in the paper – can't say I've seen you in my audience very much."

"Well, one visit to your show was enough to last me a lifetime," retorted Bruce. "Fraud and charlatanism at its finest."

"Maybe, but people lap it up," said Joker. "So I've gotta be doing something right."

"Or people have no taste," retorted Bruce. "And sometimes have difficulty telling real art from deceptive fakery."

"I don't pretend to be an artist, just an entertainer," replied Joker. "And I do that very well indeed. The smiles of my audiences aren't fake. It doesn't matter where they come from – the joy is real. Anyway, some of my acts may be fake, but some of them are genuine."

"Yes, and the genuine ones are even more disturbing," replied Bruce. "They're unnatural, and should be locked away."

"You mean like the Cobblepots over there tried to do with their only son?" asked Joker, nodding across the room at a miserable-looking couple.

"Better than parading him around a stage as the Penguin Man, wouldn't you agree?" asked Bruce.

"Not really, no," replied Joker. "At least he's getting paid for being the Penguin Man, and at least it's his choice to be paraded. You call me a fake, but you live in this fake world of money and perfection, where imperfections and flaws are hidden away and never spoken of, so people pretend they don't even exist. So which one of us is the real fraud?"

"If it's so unbearable for you, what are you doing here?" asked Bruce. "And what will it take for you to leave, short of calling the police for trespassing?"

"I just wanted to talk to you, Bruce," said Joker. "To try to get you to see things from my point of view."

Bruce snorted contemptuously. "That is quite impossible, Mr. Joker," he retorted. "We are two completely different men, with completely different outlooks on the world. Talking will do us no good, but nor, I suspect, would fighting. We should just associate with each other as little as possible, which I find very easy, since your world cannot possibly have anything to do with mine. Good evening," he said, turning to leave him.

Joker glared after him, but realized that talking would be fairly useless, and he believed Bruce's threat about the police. So he headed for the door, swiping a glass of champagne on his way out.

Once outside the manor, he lit up a cigarette and looked around for a cab to take him home. "You got a light?" asked a voice.

Joker turned to see another man standing on the steps of Wayne Manor, holding out a cigarette. "Yeah, here you go," he said, tossing his matchbook at him.

"Thanks," said the man, lighting his cigarette and inhaling deeply. "Come out for some fresh air? It gets pretty stifling in there."

"Actually, I was just leaving," said Joker. "As soon as I can get a cab."

"You can take my carriage if you want," said the man, nodding at an elegant vehicle across from them. "I can drop you off – I was thinking of heading into town to get a real drink anyway. There's only so much champagne you can stand before you crave something stronger."

"Boy, tell me about it," agreed Joker. "Mind if I join you in a drink?"

"Not at all," said the man, extending his hand. "Harvey Dent."

"Wait, the District Attorney?" asked Joker, trying to hide the glass of champagne he had swiped.

"That's me," said Dent, nodding. "And you are?"

"The Joker," said Joker, tossing the glass into the bushes while Dent wasn't looking.

"From the circus?" asked Dent, raising his eyebrows. "I've heard a lot about you from Bruce."

"Probably not complimentary then," retorted Joker, puffing out a cloud of smoke.

"Well, Bruce is a serious-minded guy," said Dent. "He doesn't really approve of, y'know…"

"Fun?" suggested Joker.

"Sorta," agreed Dent, nodding. "Ever since his parents' murders, he's obsessed with order and justice. I can't remember the last time he genuinely smiled, or had a good laugh. I kinda feel bad for him really."

"And what about you?" asked Joker, studying him. "When's the last time you genuinely smiled, or had a good laugh?"

Dent shrugged. "I'm a busy man, and I don't really have time for a lot of fun. This city doesn't run itself, and there's a lot of criminals to put behind bars. Being an upstanding member of this community means a lot of long hours, and a lot of seriously boring functions, like this one."

"Yeah…let me buy you that drink," said Joker, smiling slowly as he realized that Harvey Dent could be his ticket to appealing to the snobs.

"How would you be interested in a new job?" asked Joker, as the bartender poured them both a whisky in a dive bar.

Dent snorted. "I'm at the pinnacle of my career, and the most successful district attorney this city has ever seen, and you think there's a way I can be more successful?"

"Depends on what kinda success you're talking about," retorted Joker. "In terms of money and fame and power, I think you've pretty much reached the top. But in terms of happiness, freedom, and actually living, I think you've got a long way to go before you become successful."

"And your suggestion to achieve this success would be?" asked Dent, downing his drink.

"Well, you could come join my circus," said Joker. "I'm trying to attract a different kind of audience, a more legitimate crowd, if you will. I want to go after the snobs, and I think you can help me draw them in."

Dent snorted again. "You have no idea how suffocating they are," he murmured, as the bartender poured him another drink.

"All the more reason for you to join up with me," replied Joker. "Get yourself away from that stifling environment before you suffocate to death."

"Mr. Joker, I can't just run off and join the circus," Dent retorted.

"Why not? Sounds thrilling, doesn't it?" asked Joker. "Anyway, what have you got to lose?"

"Besides my job and my reputation?" asked Dent. "Which is all I've got, by the way."

"Exactly," said Joker, nodding. "There's gotta be more to life than that, right? Or are you telling me you enjoy these endless mundane parties among the tedious elite?"

Dent was silent, sipping his drink. "What kind of help could I give you?" he asked at last.

"You've got money and connections," said Joker. "Use those to promote my show to your crowd. And help me find acts that appeal to those crowds. I know how this game works – it's not actually about the acts themselves, but about who's presenting them. Now the Joker is a joke among the upper crust, but Harvey Dent? People will listen to you, people who matter - the Bruce Waynes of the world. We get a legitimate act with your name attached, and suddenly the Joker's Circus of Fun isn't a show to be sneered at. What do you say? Will you help me?"

"In return for what?" asked Dent, downing the rest of his drink.

"Have you ever seen my show?" asked Joker.

"God, no," retorted Dent. "A man of my reputation wouldn't be caught dead there…"

"Unless he's gonna pan it, like your friend Bruce, huh?" asked Joker. "Seems like a difficult way to live – having to deny yourself things to preserve your reputation. Having to deny yourself fun and laughter and anything that might be considered improper. I know I couldn't live like that, day after day, night after night. I'd get too depressed at the thought that I was wasting my life not living at all. So why don't you trade that typical for something colorful?"

"Because it's crazy," retorted Dent.

Joker shrugged. "If it's crazy, live a little crazy. Or you can stay stuck in your cage, imprisoned by the chains of society and respectability, and resign yourself to being miserable for the rest of your life. But what I'm offering you is freedom – the freedom to smile, the freedom to laugh, the freedom to dream, and the freedom to live. That's a deal I think is worth taking, but I guess I'll leave that up to you."

Dent stood up. "Maybe I should see your show first," he said. "Just so I know what I'm getting for my investment."

"You're a smart man, Mr. Dent," said Joker, nodding. "It's always wise to make sure you're getting your money's worth before you invest. That's what the bank thought, and why they wouldn't loan me money, but I definitely didn't rob them to get it."

"What?" asked Dent.

"I said I definitely didn't rob them to get the money," repeated Joker. "So if you're looking to catch who did that, it definitely wasn't me. Just FYI," he said, clapping Dent on the back as they headed out of the bar toward the circus.

"You just take a seat there and enjoy, Harv," said Joker, pushing Dent down next to his children, who were again seated in the front row. "I can guarantee your life will be changed forever by this experience."

Dent snorted again, folding his arms across his chest as the lights dimmed and the Joker appeared on stage, beaming at the crowd. Dent couldn't deny the clown had a certain charisma, but he sincerely doubted that his circus could present anything life-changing.

But that was where he was wrong. Because the moment Poison Ivy appeared on stage, Harvey Dent's life changed forever. The moment their eyes met, he knew he would never be the same. He felt something he had never felt before – whether it was madness, love, or freedom, he didn't know. But whatever it was, he felt he was finally coming alive.


	7. Chapter 7

"Way to go, everyone, another triumph!" exclaimed the Joker after the show that night, holding up his hand for a high five. Which nobody returned since his joy buzzer was very obviously visible. "What did you think, my little groupies?" he asked, as his children raced to join them backstage.

"You and Mommy were the best, Daddy, as always!" exclaimed Arleen, hugging him.

"And Aunt Ivy," added J.J., who went over to hug her.

"And what did you think, Harv?" asked Joker, smiling at Dent who had followed the children backstage. "Fraud and charlatanism at its finest, like your friend Bruce?"

"I didn't see much fraud or charlatanism," replied Dent. "I saw very authentic people…very unique people," he continued, his eyes straying over to Ivy. "Hi, I'm Harvey Dent," he said, extending his hand to her.

"Ivy," she replied. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Dent. What's your act?"

"Please call me Harvey," he said. "And I don't have an act."

"Everyone's got an act," she retorted.

"Well, I'm the District Attorney," he said, smiling.

"And you're saying that's your act?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No, I'm saying that I'm not here to perform," he replied.

"But you are here for a job, right, Harvey?" asked Joker. "Because you really wanna help my little circus out, don't you?"

"Job? What job, puddin'?" asked Harley. "I didn't know you were getting a new act – you usually consult me about these things."

"Mr. Dent's not an act – he's going to help our circus appeal to the rich and highbrow snobs," said Joker. "Using his talents and connections as the District Attorney."

"And why would he do that?" asked Harley, puzzled.

"Because he's bored being the District Attorney, and wants to break into showbusiness. Right, Harv?" asked Joker.

"I just think this is something everyone should see, no matter their station," said Dent. "It's an experience unlike any other, life-changing, as the Joker said. I think people are denying themselves that purely based on snobbery, and it's a shame. If I can help others see the light as the Joker has helped me, it's really the least I can do."

"There, y'see? From the horse's mouth," said Joker.

"Well, that's very gracious of you, Mr. Dent," said Harley. "It's very unusual for someone to help with no expectation of reward."

"He's getting a reward, pumpkin – he gets to hang out with us!" exclaimed Joker. "Which means his life will be nothing but fun and frolics, right?"

"I certainly think so," replied Harley, grinning as she kissed Joker and then headed off with the children to change.

"She's…really great," said Dent, gazing after Ivy as she followed Harley.

"Yeah, I'm a lucky man to have her for my wife," agreed Joker. "She's got it all – compassion, brains, beauty, and her body can do some really amazing things, as you've seen, and I don't just mean on the highwire…"

"No, I meant…uh…Miss Ivy," said Dent. "I've just…never seen anyone like her."

"Nobody has, Harv – that's why she's in the show, because she's completely unique," retorted Joker. "She doesn't tell me much because she hates me, but Harley said she was made into a freak by some scientific experiment a guy performed on her…"

"She's not a freak," interrupted Dent. "She's…just incredible."

Joker smiled. "Oh, fancy planting yourself in the Weed's garden, huh?" he chuckled. "Well, good luck to you. She's the most confrontational and stand-offish woman I've ever met – thoroughly unpleasant to be around, in my view. But who knows? Maybe you can discover her hidden depths, which I'm sure you'd enjoy," he chuckled.

"Shut up," snapped Dent. "And stop with the innuendos, or I'm not helping you out."

"Fine, I'll just do 'em when you're not around," sniffed Joker. "And speaking of doing…"

"I said stop," interrupted Dent.

"Fine," repeated Joker. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought you onboard if you're gonna ruin my fun," he muttered under his breath. "Your connections better be worth it."

…

They were. A few weeks after Dent's visit, he returned to inform them that the Joker's Circus of Fun had been invited to a reception at Buckingham Palace by Her Majesty Queen Victoria of England. Most of the circus was pleasantly shocked at the news, except for Jervis Tetch who was so thrilled he almost hyperventilated, and went off to go prepare a tea party tableau vivant for his animals to perform for her majesty.

The day before they were scheduled to travel, Arleen and J.J. came down with a cold, nothing too serious, but enough to confine them to their beds without the possibility of traveling anywhere. Joker wanted to cancel the whole trip, but Harley insisted that he go with the rest of the circus while she stayed behind to take care of the children. And Arleen and J.J. insisted that their Daddy not miss his special meeting with the Queen. So the Joker reluctantly went without them, but promised to bring them back lots of presents from England (the Crown Jewels, if he could manage it).

The circus was announced at the throne room of Buckingham Palace by a messenger, proclaiming them, "The Joker, and his Oddities from America."

"Wow, we come all this way to see the Queen, and she's shorter than you, Pengers," muttered Joker, as they approached the throne. "Just about as fat, too."

"Shut up!" hissed Dent. "Don't insult the Queen of England!"

"Why not? She gonna chop off my head?" chuckled Joker.

"You know the Queen of Hearts is based on her, don't you?" asked Tetch, who was beaming from ear to ear. "I can't believe I'm finally going to meet not only my monarch, but the inspiration for such an immortal character!"

"Just calm down, Tetchy," said Joker. "Johnny, slap him if he gets too weird, although I admit it's hard to tell what too weird would be in his case."

"You may rise, Mr. Joker and company," said the Queen, as they all bowed to her. "We have heard so much about your little circus – our friends in America tell us it is most charming."

"Well, I am, ma'am, I can't speak for the circus," replied the Joker, with a grin.

"America must be a very unusual place to be a home to so many…unique individuals," commented the Queen, studying the group.

"Oh, we'll take credit for most of these, but Freeze over there is German, Bane is actually from Santa Prisca, and Tetchy's one of yours," said Joker, nodding. "So we're not the only place that produces oddities. We just know how to market them best."

"It must be fascinating living as you do, purely to entertain others, with no rules and responsibilities," said the Queen. "As one who was born into enormous privilege and power, we can only imagine such a life."

"Well, anytime you wanna give up the throne and join the circus, we'll welcome you, sweetheart," said Joker, beaming. "By the looks of it, you'd fit right in."

Everyone stared at him. "You said what to the Queen of England?" hissed Dent.

Fortunately for everyone, the Queen burst out laughing. "You are most amusing, Mr. Joker," she said, nodding at him. "Most amusing."

"That's why I'm called the Joker," he agreed, turning to stick his tongue out at Dent.

"We are delighted by your visit – please stay and enjoy the reception as our honored guests," said the Queen, waving her hand.

"Thank you, your majesty," said Joker, bowing. "And please allow us to present a tableau vivant…whatever the hell that is…by your devoted subject, Jervis Tetch, aka the Mad Hatter."

Dent let out the breath he had been holding as the Queen was distracted by Tetch's animals in hats. He headed over to grab a glass of champagne, and was soon joined by the Joker. "That went well," said Joker, grabbing his own glass. "She's all right, for a queen. Got a good sense of humor, which is rare in a dame."

"Sure," agreed Dent, his gaze drifting over longingly to Ivy, who stood in the corner looking bored.

"You could go talk to her, y'know," said Joker. "That's the first step in getting to know a girl."

"I don't know what to talk to her about," said Dent.

"My wife and I bonded over grisly murders when we first met," suggested Joker.

"Yeah…maybe not," said Dent, as he and the rest of the room applauded politely after Tetch's tableau was over.

Their attention was suddenly turned to the doorway, as a messenger announced, "Your majesty, Miss Jeannie Lind."

A stunningly beautiful woman entered the room, dressed in an elegant white gown, and all eyes in the room followed her, as did whispers of adoration, as she walked towards the throne and curtseyed deeply.

"Who's that?" asked Joker.

"Jeannie Lind," retorted Dent.

"I heard that part – I mean, who _is_ she?" he asked.

"Only the most famous opera singer in Europe," retorted Dent. "I forget you don't move in my circles, or you'd know her, because everybody does. She's sold out every opera house in Europe a dozen times."

"Beloved by the high brow crowd, huh?" asked Joker, sipping his champagne thoughtfully. He suddenly seized Dent's arm, dragging him toward Jeannie.

"What are you doing?" hissed Dent.

"Following you, so you can introduce me to Miss Lind," said Joker.

"Introduce you…I don't know her!" hissed Dent.

"Everybody knows her – you just said so yourself," retorted Joker. "And I just said talking is the first step in getting to know a girl. I'd be a hypocrite not to follow my own advice."

"You can't just walk up to someone like that and just…" began Dent, but they had reached Jeannie, who turned slowly to face them. Dent cleared his throat.

"Um…hello, Miss Lind, I'm Harvey Dent," he said, bowing and kissing her hand. "And this…extraordinary man is…"

"The Joker," said Joker, also bowing and kissing her hand. "From the Joker's Circus of Fun."

"Oh yes, the clown from America," said Jeannie, nodding. "I do believe I've heard of you."

"Well, if the likes of you have heard of me all the way over here, I must be doing something right," replied Joker, with a grin.

"That or something very wrong," replied Jeannie.

"Well, in the world of publicity, there's hardly a difference," retorted Joker.

"Why, I do believe those are the words of a scoundrel, Mr. Joker," said Jeannie.

"A showman, Miss Lind, just a showman," he replied. "The greatest showman in the world, as a matter of fact."

"If you do say so yourself," retorted Jeannie.

"I do," replied Joker, nodding. "But I don't have to. Everybody says it, don't they, Harv?"

"Sure, yeah," agreed Dent. "He's…one of the greatest."

"That's very flattering, Harvey," said Joker. "But I don't want to waste your very valuable time talking about myself, Miss Lind, so I'll get straight to the point. I would like you to come to Gotham City and perform, and if you agree, I'll make you the most famous singer the world has ever known."

Jeannie raised her eyebrows in surprise. "And have you heard me sing, Mr. Joker?" she asked.

"No," said Joker, shrugging. "But to be honest, it doesn't really matter if you can or not. If the public thinks you can, that's all that matters, certainly not my opinion. And like mine, your reputation precedes you, Miss Lind. I can guarantee you sold out shows every night, and a very handsome sum for your efforts."

"I donate most of my earnings to charity, Mr. Joker," replied Jeannie. "To widows and orphans."

"Y'see, Harv?" sighed Joker. "Talent, beauty, and compassion. There's a woman who's got it all."

Jeannie smiled at him. "May I ask you a question, Mr. Joker, which I hope you'll answer honestly?"

"I can't make any promises, but I'll try," said Joker, nodding.

"Why me?" she asked.

Joker shrugged again. "I've been called a fraud and a charlatan, probably deservedly so," he said. "A lot of my show is style over substance, and people come to it for the pleasure of being hoodwinked. Just once I'd like to give them something real, a true talent. And I think you have that, Miss Lind. Think it over," he added, kissing her hand.

She smiled again. "I will," she said. "You can be sure of that, Mr. Joker."

"That wasn't you being honest, was it?" asked Dent, as Jeannie headed off. "You have lots of real talent in your show."

"Well, what was I gonna tell her?" demanded Joker. "I want her to perform to appeal to the rich snobs so they'll accept me and my family into their stupid snobby society? You can't tell a woman that! You have to flatter her, and make her think she's special – that's like Talking to Dames 101! Which is a course you need to take, by the way," he added.

"Thanks," said Dent, sarcastically.

"Anyway, there's never any harm in massaging a woman's ego, trust me," said Joker, sipping his champagne. "She won't be able to resist my invitation to Gotham, just wait and see."

Joker was right about the latter statement. But he was very, very wrong about the former, which he was going to discover to his cost.


	8. Chapter 8

"There's my little groupies!" exclaimed the Joker, as his children and Harley raced into his arms the instant he stepped off the boat back in Gotham. "Did you miss me?"

"We certainly did," replied Harley. "Every day it was 'Is Daddy coming home today?' repeatedly. And not just from the kiddies," she added, kissing him.

"Did you see the Queen, Daddy?" asked Arleen. "What did she look like?"

"Pengers," replied Joker. "Even wore all black too."

"Did you bring us back a present?" asked J.J.

"Well, I couldn't get the Crown Jewels – Queenie said no to giving them away, and their security was tighter than I expected," said Joker. "But I did manage to pick up something even better – a new act!"

"Another new act?" asked Harley. "Are you ever going to consult me about those again?"

"You weren't there," retorted Joker. "But I guarantee you'll approve – this act is really gonna draw in your old crowd."

"Why would I approve of that?" asked Harley. "Part of the reason I married you was to get away from those snobs forever, and you seem determined to thrust me back among them."

"I'm doing this for you, and the kiddies," he said. "So you're not laughed at by everyone."

"I don't mind being laughed at," she replied. "We are a clown family after all – it comes with the territory."

"Yeah, and it's about time we were respected," said Joker. "And she'll do it, trust me. Just wait until you see her, or more importantly, hear her. She's the greatest opera singer in Europe."

"I didn't even know you liked opera," replied Harley, puzzled.

"I don't, but the snobs do," he retorted. "And they're the ones whose opinions matter."

"They really don't, puddin'…" began Harley.

"J, will you help me with my luggage?" asked Jeannie, who had appeared on the gangplank at that moment.

"Of course, Jeannie," he said, heading over to her and picking up her suitcases.

"I must say, it's good to be on dry land again," she said, smiling at him as she disembarked. "And it appears a little crowd has been waiting for me," she sighed, as she was swarmed by a mass of reporters and press taking photographs. She turned to smile at Joker. "This is your doing, isn't it, J?" she asked. "Publicity from the moment I step off the boat."

"I may have sent a few telegrams," replied Joker, smiling back at her. "Harley, kiddies, come say hi to Miss Jeannie Lind, the Joker's greatest act ever!"

"She's so pretty, Mommy!" exclaimed Arleen, as they hurried over to her.

"Yes, she is, isn't she?" murmured Harley, feeling a twinge of jealousy that her husband had spent all this time on a boat with such an attractive woman. But she reassured herself that her jealousy was stupid, and determined not to allow it to make her instantly dislike Jeannie. So she headed over with her children to greet her.

"Jeannie, this is my wife, Harley, and my kids, Arleen and J.J.," said Joker, introducing them.

"I've heard so much about you both," said Jeannie, bending down to smile at the children. "J literally talks of nothing else."

"You look just like a princess," said Arleen, gazing at her in wonder.

" _Are_ you a princess?" asked J.J.

Jeannie laughed. "No, I'm afraid not," she replied. "Merely a singer with some small talent."

"Modest and beautiful – Voice of a Nightingale, Heart of an Angel, use that for your headline," said Joker to the surrounding reporters. "Tell 'em about the charity donations, Jeannie, while I have a word with my wife," he said, gently taking Harley aside.

"I know what you're thinking," he said.

"Do you?" she asked, sincerely hoping he didn't.

"You're thinking that we can't afford a fancy act like her, but don't you worry, I've got all the financial stuff worked out," said Joker. "Trust me, she's going to be nothing but profit for us, and she's gonna bring great things to our family."

"That wasn't what I was thinking," said Harley.

"Oh. What were you thinking?" he asked, looking genuinely bewildered.

She smiled, reassuring herself again that her jealousy was stupid. "Nothing," she said, kissing him. "I'm glad you're home, puddin'."

"Hey, while I'm thinking about it, did you know our illustrious DA is sweet on the Weed Lady?" asked Joker, as Ivy disembarked. "Think you can whisper a word or two in her ear to help him along? I feel the least we can do for Harvey to pay him back for this audience with the Queen is give him some help in wooing the Plant. I tried to give him my tips on talking to women, including discussing grisly murders, but he doesn't seem to want to take my advice."

"Imagine that," said Harley, grinning at him. "Of course I'll talk to Red. And you keep talking to Harvey – I think they'd be a good couple."

"Me too," agreed Joker. "Maybe we can arrange a date for them to the opening of Jeannie's show. I can guarantee that everyone who's anyone is gonna be there – it's gonna be the hottest ticket in town! You should buy yourself a nice new dress for the occasion, and something for the kiddies too, for their big break into high society. Now I gotta go manage Jeannie – don't want her revealing too many of my secrets to the press!" he chuckled, hurrying back over to her.

Harley stared after him, once again reassuring herself that she was stupid to be jealous. But the flash of the photographers' cameras revealed Joker and Jeannie smiling and laughing together, and each image seemed like a dagger in her heart.

"I don't want to be jealous, especially since I rationally know that's a stupid thing to be," Harley said to Ivy, as they dressed for the show that night. "Mr. J would never betray me. But I can't help irrationally disliking Jeannie. I know you're big on all women sticking together and being friends, Red, but I don't trust that woman's intentions toward my husband. Not one bit."

"You're being paranoid for no reason," retorted Ivy. "J's not that attractive, and he's definitely not irresistible to any woman but you. Jeannie Lind can do better, and she knows it."

"Thanks, I think," said Harley.

"I'm trying to reassure you that she doesn't have any designs on him," replied Ivy. "I was on the boat with them, and they didn't hang out that much, and when they did, it was just friendly talk. We were all mostly in a group anyway."

"That's too bad," said Harley. "I was hoping maybe you and Harvey could have had some time alone together."

"Why would I want time alone with him?" asked Ivy.

"Well, he's an objectively attractive guy," said Harley, shrugging. "I just thought you might be interested."

"I'm not interested in men," snapped Ivy. "Not after what happened the last time I fell in love with one." Her voice softened. "Anyway, Harvey…could never be with someone like me."

"Why not?" asked Harley.

"Because we're from two different worlds," muttered Ivy, glaring at herself in the mirror.

"So were me and Mr. J," replied Harley. "But love finds a way between worlds."

"As much as I hate J, he can't be considered a freak," retorted Ivy. "Not physically, anyway. But I am. And Harvey's so handsome and successful…it would never work between us, even if I wanted it to. Which I don't," she added, hastily.

Harley shrugged. "Suit yourself," she said. "But Mr. J said Harvey's definitely interested – he just doesn't think you are. Maybe you should let him know."

Joker had had a similar conversation with Dent before the circus began, encouraging him to ask Ivy to Jeannie's show. And so after the circus was over for the night, Dent and Ivy nearly ran into each other while heading off to look for one another.

"Uh…hi," said Dent. "I was wondering if…you'd like to go to Jeannie's opening night performance with me?"

"You mean…just the two of us?" asked Ivy.

"Yeah," said Dent, nodding. "Just the two of us. I mean, J's invited everyone from the circus, but he said…we could have a private box."

"A box?" repeated Ivy. "Aren't those pretty visible?"

"Well…yeah," said Dent, slowly. "Is there a reason you don't want to be seen with me?"

"You think _I_ don't want to be seen with _you_?" asked Ivy, stunned. But then she smiled. "I'd love to accompany you, Mr. Dent."

"Please call me Harvey," he said. "Can I pick you up around six?"

"That would be fine," she said, nodding. "I'm…very much looking forward to it."

"So am I," agreed Dent, raising her hand to his lips. "Uh…see you tomorrow then."

"See you tomorrow," said Ivy. "Good evening."

They headed off in opposite directions, beaming.

Joker and Harley had been watching them from backstage. They shared a look, and then a high five.

"Well done, Harley girl," said Joker.

"And to you, Mr. J," she replied, kissing his cheek. "We've done our part, and the rest is up to them. But I have a very good feeling about those two."

"So do I," agreed Joker, nodding. "I have a feeling they might almost be as happy as we are together. I say almost, because nobody could ever be happier," he added, kissing her. "Now I gotta run – lots to do to set up Jeannie's big opening night tomorrow, and she's expecting me. I'll be home late – tell the kiddies not to wait up, and that goes for you too," he said, kissing her again as he rushed off.

Harley sighed heavily. "Nobody could ever be happier," she murmured. "I wish that were true, puddin'."


	9. Chapter 9

Jeannie Lind's opening night was the most anticipated night of the year for the well-off citizens of Gotham City. They came in their droves – the concert hall was completely packed with the social elite.

"Bruce Wayne!" exclaimed the Joker, greeting him as he entered and shaking his hand, which resulted in Bruce being shocked with the joy buzzer.

"Hello, Joker, still up to your ridiculous tricks, I see," muttered Bruce, glaring at him as he rubbed his hand.

"Oh, I still do my frauds and charlatanism on the side, but I think this act is gonna be much more to your liking, Brucie boy," said Joker, clapping him on the shoulder and shocking him again. "Enjoy the show – I got a good feeling you will, for once! Baby, you made it!" he exclaimed, as Harley entered the hall with the children. "And don't you just look a picture!" he said, kissing her cheek. "You kiddies also look super fancy."

"This dress ain't comfy, Daddy," said Arleen, making a face.

"And Mommy says we can't eat chocolate in these nice clothes," muttered J.J.

"Well, she's right, but it's only temporary," said Joker, ruffling his hair. "Say, maybe that's why Brucie's so miserable all the time – he's always wearing nice clothes and can't eat chocolate in them."

"You were right, puddin' – everyone who's anyone is here," commented Harley, looking around. "So are you happy now?"

"I will be if this works," agreed Joker, nodding. "God, I hope she can sing," he muttered, glancing at his watch. "Now I need to see to Jeannie, so you take your seats, and I'll see you after the show," he said, rushing off.

Harley sighed, but smiled when she saw a familiar couple entering the hall. "Harvey, Ivy, so good to see you here together!" she said, heading over to them. "Although you're cutting it a bit close - the curtain's about to go up."

"We got stuck in traffic," said Ivy. "There's quite a crowd of carriages trying to get here. But Harvey had plenty of champagne in his, so we didn't mind," she added, smiling at him.

"Well, Mr. J's already backstage, but he left tickets for you at the box office," said Harley. "Enjoy the show," she said, escorting the children to their seats.

Dent took Ivy's arm and headed over to the box office. "I'm picking up two tickets reserved for Harvey Dent," he said.

"Here we are, sir – you're in the first box," said the attendant, handing him the tickets.

"Harvey?" said a voice, and Dent turned to see Bruce Wayne staring at him, and the woman on his arm, in barely concealed disgust.

"Evening, Bruce," said Dent, cheerfully. "Looking forward to seeing Miss Lind?"

"What are you doing here with…that?" asked Bruce, nodding at Ivy.

"This is my companion for the evening," said Dent. "Please allow me to introduce Miss Ivy."

Ivy held out her hand to him, but Bruce continued to just stare at her. "Really, Harvey, this is beyond the pale," he said. "I can't understand you involving yourself in this circus business at all, but to actually be seen in public with these freaks, to have one on your arm like some kind of equal…I understand some men fetishize the exotic, but you should really keep your disgusting predilection for that sort of thing private, not parade it around proudly. Have you no shame?"

"I have no reason to be ashamed, of myself or of her," snapped Dent. "And how dare you speak of her like that? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Who do _I_ think I am?" demanded Bruce. "Who do you think you are, trying to pretend like you're one of them? A man reflects the company he keeps, and you mingling with them degrades both them and you. You're better than that thing on your arm, Harvey, and you need to wake up and realize it before you get yourself into trouble."

Dent had raised a fist to punch Bruce in the face, but he was distracted by Ivy, who didn't say a word but turned and headed toward the door. "Ivy, no, come back!" he called, racing after her. "Don't listen to him…"

"Don't tell me what to do!" snapped Ivy, rounding on him. "If I want to leave, I'll leave, and no man will stop me!"

"Ivy, don't let him ruin the evening," pleaded Dent. "It doesn't matter what he says…"

"It doesn't matter to you, because you've never had anybody speak that way to you!" snapped Ivy. "But it matters to me! I won't be talked about and stared at by anymore of those snobs – I'll feel them sneering at me all throughout the evening, and I won't put up with it! Everywhere I go, I have to be judged, and I always will be, which is why I can't…we can't…"

"Ivy, please…" began Dent, but she had already stormed out of the building. Dent ran after her, but she had disappeared into the crowd, and so he slowly walked back to the hall alone as the spotlight came up on the Joker standing in front of the curtain.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!" he said, cheerfully. "I've got quite a show for you tonight, a far cry from my usual presentation of unique persons and curiosities! Although this lady is certainly unique…"

He trailed off when he noticed Dent sitting alone in the box. Frowning, Joker pointed at the empty seat, and Dent tried to mime Ivy storming off, which Joker didn't seem to understand. He looked up at Harley and his kids, pointing to the empty box, and Harley replied with a shrug. Joker shrugged back, waved at his children, and made shadow puppets in the spotlight until someone coughed loudly, reminding him that he was meant to be presenting a serious act tonight.

"And now, without further ado, because I know no words of mine will convince you of her greatness – you'll just have to hear her for yourself," said Joker, returning his attention to the audience. "May I present, Miss Jeannie Lind."

The lights dimmed and the curtain rose to reveal Jeannie in another gorgeous gown. She opened her mouth to sing, and everyone in the room was instantly captivated by the most beautiful voice they had ever heard. Even Bruce Wayne found himself being inexpressibly moved by it, while Dent wished that Ivy could be there to share this incredible experience with him. Arleen and J.J. sat enraptured, and Harley looked from Jeannie to her husband in the stage wing, staring at Jeannie in utter captivation. This did nothing to dispel her jealousy.

When the song was over, everyone burst into rapturous applause, no one louder than the Joker, who presented Jeannie with a bouquet of flowers as she took a bow.

"Hasn't she got an impressive set of pipes, ladies and gentlemen?" Joker asked. "Give her another big hand!"

He smiled smugly at the audience of rich, well-dressed people, on their feet and applauding for his act, which was what he had wanted all along. Jeannie, who smiled at him as he bowed and kissed her hands, read his smile as something else, something directed at her. She had seen the way he stared at her when she sang, and now she had given him the respect and adoration of society. But she wanted to give him more than that.

There was a post-show reception in the hall, and Joker's beaming smile never fell as he received praise and compliments from one member of the elite after another. "Brucie, what did you think?" he asked, heading over to Bruce standing alone in the corner.

"She is remarkable," replied Bruce, nodding.

"Enough to bring joy to even the most joyless man, isn't she?" asked Joker.

"Yes, it's a shame she's fallen in with you," continued Bruce, ignoring him. "She could be something spectacular in the hands of a real professional manager and purveyor of the arts, not some two-bit showman."

"I think the backhanded compliment is the best I'm gonna do from you, Brucie, so I'll just thank you for it and move on," retorted Joker. "Enjoy the champagne."

"Daddy!" exclaimed Arleen and J.J., as they burst into the room with Harley.

"Hello, groupies, did you enjoy the show?" he asked, picking them up and kissing them.

"It was great!" exclaimed Arleen.

"But can we have chocolate now?" asked J.J.

"What, this close to bedtime?" asked Joker. "I'd say of course you can, but ask your mother," he said, as Harley came over to him. "What did you think, pumpkin?" he asked.

"She's…incredible," admitted Harley. "Beautiful, talented…I don't think I've ever seen a more impressive woman."

"I have," said Joker, kissing her. "But yeah, she's something else, for sure."

There was a burst of applause as Jeannie entered the room, having changed out of her gown into something less formal. She bowed, and then came over to Joker, beaming.

"Why don't you kiddies tell Jeannie how much you liked the show?" asked Joker, ushering them forward.

As Arleen and J.J. showered Jeannie with compliments, Harley kept her forced smile, which became even more forced as a familiar couple entered the room.

"Mother," she exclaimed, shocked. "Father…"

"Hello, Harleen," said Mr. Quinzel. "We just came to congratulate your husband on his success."

"Oh," said Harley. "That's…surprising, because…when we got married you said…you never wanted anything to do with us ever again."

"Well, that was before I was wowing high society," said Joker. "Now that I can be useful to them and their snooty connections, they've decided I'm not so bad a son-in-law after all, isn't that right, Mr. Quinzel?"

"Perhaps I underestimated you," conceded Mr. Quinzel. "But I think I had every right to doubt someone of your background, an insignificant man destined to lead an insignificant life. But you've proved me wrong, and done well, so…"

"So now you can condescend to talk to me, and to your grandchildren?" interrupted Joker. "Did you even know you had grandchildren?"

"Mr. J, please," said Harley. "There's no need to be rude…"

"No need to be rude?" repeated Joker. "These people disowned you, Harley, and now they just waltz in here pretending like nothing's happened, like they wanna be a family now! When we coulda used support, where were they? But now we're rich and successful, so they've come to leech off that success. Thanks, but I can do without family like you, Mr. Quinzel. Why don't you just leave?"

"No, Mr. J…" began Harley.

"I was right, you know, Mr. Napier," interrupted Mr. Quinzel. "A man of your background will ultimately always be insignificant, even if he achieves success. Because deep down, that success will never be enough for him – he'll always be that pathetic man crying for more attention and recognition. I hope you're very happy with such a man, Harleen," he said, nodding at his daughter as he and his wife turned and left.

Harley rounded on Joker. "Mr. J, there was no need to talk to him like that!"

"He started it!" protested Joker.

"You don't think it might be nice for our kiddies to know their grandparents?" demanded Harley. "You don't think it would have been nice to be the bigger person, and forgive my parents for their mistakes, rather than gloating and rubbing it in their faces?"

"I shouldn't have to forgive them!" snapped Joker. "They should be begging _my_ forgiveness! And how can you forgive them after the way they treated us?"

"By reminding myself that people make mistakes, Mr. J," retorted Harley. "Believe me, I'm reminded of that every day."

She took Arleen and J.J. by the arm and headed for the door. "Harley, wait…" began Joker.

"It's late, and the kiddies should be in bed," she interrupted. "And don't worry – I won't wait up."

She left, slamming the door behind her. Joker sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Well, that escalated quickly," he muttered. "And I'm still not sure what I did wrong…"

"What you did wrong was provide an open bar," said Jeannie, handing him a glass of champagne. "Free alcohol is a recipe for disaster, I told you that, J. But now, everyone, if you could please join me in a toast to Mr. Joker," she said, raising her glass. "Who has shown once and for all that a man's station is limited only by his imagination."

Joker's smile returned as the entire room toasted him. "Thank you, Jeannie," he said, smiling at her.

"It's hard to understand wealth and privilege when you're born into it," said Jeannie, lowering her voice. "Sometimes I don't feel like I belong here either."

"You?" asked Joker.

She nodded. "I was born…out of wedlock," she said. "And that brought shame upon my family. Somehow, life always manages to remind me that I don't deserve a place in this world, and that leaves a hole that no ovation can ever fill."

"Tell me about it," snorted Joker, chugging his champagne. They were distracted by a ruckus from the corridor, and Joker hurried over to see his circus about to enter the room. He raced over, grabbing the door. "Hi, guys, can I help you?" he asked.

"We'd like to see Miss Lind, and congratulate her on her bravura performance," said Jervis Tetch.

"Ok, but you got a show in an hour," said Joker, glancing at his watch.

"It doesn't take more than a minute or two to pay your respects," replied Tetch.

"In theory," agreed Joker. "But you'd get caught up hobnobbing with the crowd, and besides, nobody's gonna pay money to see you guys in the show if you're out here for all the world to see. Why don't you just go back to the circus, and I'll see you there later. I'll even bring Jeannie by, how about that?"

"Is there some reason you don't want us in there?" demanded Crane. "You don't want to be seen with us freaks now that you're presenting legitimate acts, is that it?"

"Johnny, I'm hurt that you think I'm that shallow," said Joker. "But yes, it's partially that. I got a real in with this crowd now, and they don't need to be reminded of who I used to be. It's just bad timing right now. I promise, I'll pass on your compliments to Jeannie, so go and have a great show, bye bye," he said, shutting the door in their faces.

Everyone stared at the closed door. "Well, how rude," said Tetch.

"We should be used to rudeness by now," sighed Cobblepot.

"And yet it still hurts," muttered Crane, as they turned away. "I suspect it always will." He sighed. "I suppose we should go back to the circus, where we belong. At least there are no judgments there."

"Except for all those protestors out front," reminded Croc.

"There seem to be more every day," said Freeze. "You would think people would have better things to do with their time than protest our existence."

Everyone murmured their agreement as they headed slowly back to the circus, downcast and miserable.


	10. Chapter 10

"Ivy!" called Dent, who had rushed to the circus right after Jeannie's show had finished. "Ivy, are you here?"

"Yes," muttered Ivy. Dent saw her sitting in the dark, curled up with her plants.

"You should have stayed – it was an amazing show…" Dent said, approaching her and reaching out for her hand. She pulled it away, glaring at him.

"Ivy…they're just small-minded people," he said. "You can't let what they say bother you."

"It's easy for you to say that," muttered Ivy. "But you have no idea what it's like to be me. To be…a freak."

"You're not a freak," said Dent. "That's their word, not yours, and words don't matter anyway. They can't hurt you…"

"No, not physically," agreed Ivy. "But mentally, you hear them in your head all the time, beating you down, breaking your spirit. Anytime you reach out for happiness, you have their voices in your head telling you that you don't deserve it…"

"But you know that's not true," said Dent.

"Do I?" she demanded. "The last man who said he loved me was only interested in using me as an experiment. How can I believe I'm worthy of anything after being treated like that?"

"Because you're an amazing woman," said Dent. "Beautiful and strong and talented…"

"Those are just more words," muttered Ivy. "And you just said words don't matter."

"No," agreed Dent. "But actions do."

He slowly bent down and kissed her gently. She responded briefly, but then drew away. "No, Harvey, I can't," she said. "We can't be together…"

"Why not?" he asked. "You know I want you, and I know you want me. You're here in my heart, so who's to stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?"

She smiled. "You think it's that easy?" she murmured. "That we can just decide to be together and that life will be perfect? You'd grow to hate me, Harvey. Every contemptuous look or word from your peers, every door shut in your face forever because of me…the loss of your reputation, which is everything you have…you'd resent giving that all up for me, eventually. And I can't ruin your life like that."

"I'd give it up gladly for you, Ivy," he said. "I'd give up everything gladly for you. Why can't you understand that nothing else matters to me, especially not that world of rich snobs?"

"Because it matters to everyone," she murmured. "It matters to J – that's why he's doing all this with Jeannie. Everyone…wants to feel accepted. And you'd never feel that with me, not anywhere. You don't belong with us freaks, and with me, you wouldn't belong to your high society anymore. I can't make you into an outcast of both worlds – you don't understand how terrible that would be because you've never experienced it. You just have to accept that we're not meant to be. It's not written in the stars…"

"We can rewrite the stars," he interrupted, taking her hands. "It's up to you and me, Ivy. That's all. And if we decide to be together, the world can be ours tonight. We'll just make a new one together."

She smiled sadly. "I love your idealism, Harvey," she murmured. "But it would never work out. We're bound to break, and our hands are tied. So please let's not discuss it anymore…"

They were interrupted by the rest of the circus entering the ring. "Guys…you're early," said Dent, slowly releasing Ivy's hands.

"Well, we were going to congratulate Miss Lind on her performance, but J wouldn't let us in the room with the rest of the social elite," explained Crane. "He basically said we shouldn't be seen in polite company, because he doesn't want to remind them of who he used to be."

"You see?" said Ivy. "Even J, who sought us all out, is abandoning us now for high society. You'd do the same, Harvey, eventually."

"No, I would not," snapped Dent. "I've been in high society, and it's a waste of time. J will see that, but it might take him a little while."

"And in the meantime, what are we to do?" sighed Clayface. "Just put up with these protestors demanding an end to our existence?"

"No, you don't have to put up with anything," retorted Dent. "You have to fight back."

He stormed out into the street and found a policeman walking his beat. "Officer, clear these protestors out of here," he said.

"Uh…but Mr. Dent, sir…they have the right to a peaceful protest…" began the policeman.

"They do not have the right to intimidate and harrass people on private property," interrupted Dent. "So get them out of here. That's an order."

"I take my orders from Commissioner Gordon, sir," retorted the officer.

"I'll just go have a word with him then, shall I?" asked Dent.

"No, Harvey, you don't have to fight for us," said Ivy, laying a hand on his arm suddenly. "You're right – we have to stand up for ourselves. If we're attacked, we fight back. We're all more than capable, and we don't need the cops or anyone else to do it for us."

She turned to face down the protestors. "You should all get out of here right now," she murmured, softly.

"Or what, freak?" demanded one of the protestors.

Ivy shrugged. "Don't say I didn't warn you," she muttered, raising her hand.

Plant vines suddenly burst through the ground in the midst of the protestors, seizing them and crushing them in their grip. People began screaming, even before Ivy shouted, "Johnny, full strength fear gas, now!"

A cloud of yellow gas descended on the protestors, and the screams became even more hysterical, but their escape route was blocked by Mr. Freeze shooting a wall of icicles from his gun, leaving sharp shards of ice which couldn't be overcome.

"Now shut up and listen, all of you!" shouted Ivy. "As you can see, your ridiculous jibes and protests, rather than demoralizing us, have made us stronger, have made us into warriors, which we have become thanks to every sharp word and harsh glance that you have flung in our direction! We will not be broken down to dust, for we are glorious! We're not scared to be seen, and we make no apologies! We are brave, we are bruised, we are who we're meant to be! This is me!"

Among the chaos and panic, Ivy turned to Dent. "And I know I deserve your love," she murmured. "There's nothing I'm not worthy of."

She kissed him passionately amidst the screams. "You know we'll probably get dragged off to jail for this," commented Jervis Tetch, as he saw the police hurrying over.

"Worth it, though," said Crane, smiling. "Plus we have a pretty good lawyer on our side."

"Yes," agreed Tetch. "But the Joker is not going to be pleased."


	11. Chapter 11

"Well, I hope you're real proud of yourselves," said the Joker, glaring at his circus sternly as they stood in the cells lining the walls of the Gotham City Police Department.

"We are, actually," replied Crane.

"That's kinda the point," agreed Ivy, nodding. "We're proud of ourselves, so we refuse to put up with this shoddy treatment any longer."

"And this sudden self-esteem just appeared by magic, did it?" asked Joker. "Look, I know you were all sore about not getting to see Jeannie, but there was no need to cause a riot!"

"This isn't about Jeannie!" snapped Ivy. "Not everything is, although I know you seem to have forgotten that!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Joker.

"Did I hear my name?" asked Jeannie, entering the station. "You left so suddenly, J, and without saying anything that when I heard you went to the police station, I was full of concern. I thought you might be in trouble, and I wanted to see if I could help get you out of it."

"It's not me who's in trouble – it's these morons," said Joker, gesturing to the cells. "Who seem hell bent on ruining my reputation!"

"Well, fortunately I'm here to salvage it," said Jeannie, taking his arm and smiling at him.

"Puddin', there you are!" exclaimed Harley, bursting into the police station. "I came as soon as I heard about the attack…"

She trailed off as she saw Jeannie clinging to her husband. Jeannie slowly let go of his arm at the look on Harley's face, which Joker didn't seem to notice. "Is everyone ok?" asked Harley, turning to face the circus.

"Yes, fortunately the protestors got the worst of it," said Crane.

"You're just lucky nobody died!" snapped Joker. "That's not the kinda publicity I want for the Joker's Circus of Fun – a bunch of murdering maniacs!"

"I thought you said any publicity was good publicity," retorted Ivy. "Anyway, you've always thrived on controversy. We were just taking a page out of your book."

"I can do that, because I'm charismatic and charming," retorted Joker. "But people who are already socially challenged becoming even more anti-social is going to keep crowds away, not bring them in! People tend to avoid situations where they're going to fear for their lives! You've really shot yourself in the foot on this whole getting people to accept you plan!"

"Harvey's right –getting people to accept us isn't important, because they never will," replied Ivy. "What's important is that we accept ourselves. That we're happy and content with who we are, and who we're with," she added, smiling at Dent across the room, who was attempting to get everyone out on bail by using his influence with the police commissioner. "It's certainly something you could work on, J," she added, turning back to him.

"Look, I love myself, and I love Harley!" snapped Joker. "The reason I'm trying to better myself and all of us is for her and the kiddies!"

"But puddin', we're happy with where we are," said Harley. "We're happy with things the way they are, or at least the way they were."

"Pumpkin pie, I've told you a thousand times, you shouldn't have to settle for anything less than the best," said Joker. "And with Jeannie, the world's gonna be our oyster! Anywhere you wanna go, any place you wanna mingle, we're gonna be welcomed with open arms! Isn't that right, Jeannie?" he asked, turning to her.

"Yes, we certainly will be," she agreed, nodding.

"She's our ticket to greatness, and to freedom!" continued Joker, turning back to Harley.

"I don't think those two things coincide that often," retorted Harley. "Anyway, I don't want freedom or greatness. I just want happiness, which I have. And I want my Mr. J back," she murmured, putting a hand to his cheek. "You've been gone so much lately, first to London to see the queen, and then setting all this up with Jeannie – I can't remember the last time you were home for dinner with me and kiddies, or tucked them into bed, or told them a story. We all miss you."

"So do we," spoke up Tetch. "Much as most of us hate to admit it, the circus just isn't the same without your brand of wild insanity. People come to see your crazy ideas, and your showmanship. Besides, if you had been there tonight, there probably wouldn't have been a riot."

"I have better things to do with my time than supervise a bunch of troublemakers!" snapped Joker. "I ain't your mothers, thank God! Harvey should have put a stop to this riot, not encouraged it, and don't think I'm not going to have a stern word with him before I leave him in charge while I'm away!"

"Away where?" asked Harley, puzzled.

Joker sighed. "I guess I probably should have told you first, baby – Jeannie wants to take her show on the road, so I'm gonna be managing her tour the next few months…"

"And you're just springing this on me now?" demanded Harley. "Without consulting me, as usual?"

"I figured you'd be pleased…" began Joker.

"Pleased that you're gonna be gone for months on end with that woman?" demanded Harley. "Why on earth would you think that, Mr. J?!"

"What's wrong with Jeannie?" asked Joker, confused.

"I'm sure there's nothing wrong with her – I'm sure she's utter perfection personified!" snapped Harley. "You certainly seem to think so, following her around like an adoring puppy all the time!"

"I do not follow her around like an adoring puppy!" snapped Joker. "Do I, guys?" he asked, turning to the other members of the circus. Nobody spoke, but Crane coughed awkwardly. "And so what if I do – she's done a lot for us, and I think we can be a little grateful…" he began, turning back to Harley.

"The only thing she's done for us is keep my husband away from his family!" snapped Harley. "So forgive me if I'm not exactly grateful for that!"

"Baby, you don't understand how great it's gonna be once we're the toast of Gotham City…" began Joker.

"Oh, I do understand," interrupted Harley, coldly. "I understand completely. You just go, if you want to. I'll take care of the kiddies on my own, and we'll just have to manage without you."

"That's my girl!" said Joker happily, not detecting the hostility in her voice. "Just wait until you see my picture in papers all over the country – you'll be so proud!"

"I'm already proud of you, puddin'," said Harley. "I don't understand why you feel the need to keep doing more and more, to get more adulation and respect from strangers when you already have the love and adoration of your family…when will it ever be enough for you?"

"I'll let you know," replied Joker. "Maybe when Jeannie gets Bruce Wayne to write a complimentary review, which will probably happen when hell freezes over!" he laughed.

"Invite Bruce on the tour," said Jeannie, smiling at him. "I guarantee it'll happen in the first week."

"You wanna bet on that?" asked Joker.

"I do," she said, nodding. "If you win, I'll buy you that customized cane with your face on it that you've always wanted."

"And what if you win?" he asked.

She smiled again. "We can discuss that if it happens," she replied. "By which I mean, when it happens."

"Can you believe this dame?" chuckled Joker. "Overconfidence ain't an attractive quality, toots."

"Isn't it?" she asked, innocently.

Harley was furious at the way Jeannie was blatantly flirting with her husband in front of her face, but managed to control her fury by taking a deep breath. "Puddin'…can I see you outside for a moment?" she asked, lightly.

"Sure thing, toots," said Joker. "Harvey, how's the bail coming?" he called across the room.

"They'll be out in a jiffy, don't worry," said Dent.

"Good. You're in charge while I'm away to see that this never happens again," said Joker, as he followed Harley out of the room.

"Away?" asked Dent, but the door shut on his question, and he sighed. "Never mind," he muttered. "I'm sure I'll find out eventually, as usual."

"What is it, cupcake?" asked Joker, smiling at Harley as she glared at him with her arms folded across her chest.

Harley took a deep breath again, trying to remain calm. "Mr. J," she said, in a soft voice. "Do you understand why I might be upset at you going off on a tour with Jeannie?"

"Well, yes, because I should have consulted you first," said Joker, nodding. "And you don't like me being away, and honestly, I don't like it either, baby. But this will be really good for us in the long run, you'll see."

Harley took another deep breath. "You don't think she's a little…overly friendly with you?"

"She's a nice gal, if that's what you mean," said Joker. "Kind and generous – that's why she gives her salary to widows and orphans. Being friendly is just her way."

"I just think it's a little…inappropriate with a married man," said Harley.

Joker stared at her. "Baby…are you jealous?" he asked, disbelievingly.

"Of course I'm jealous!" exclaimed Harley. "She's constantly flirting with you, you spend all your time with her, and now you're going off on some tour together, just the two of you…"

"And Bruce Wayne," reminded Joker. "But pooh, you can't honestly be jealous! You think _I'm_ interested in another woman? Why the hell would I be, when I've got my perfect Harley girl? Don't you realize how ridiculous you sound?"

"Don't you dare call me ridiculous!" snapped Harley. "I don't trust that woman, or her designs on you! You might not be interested, but I know she is, and I don't want her trying anything!"

"She won't," reassured Joker. "You've got her all wrong – Jeannie's not like that. She would never try and steal another woman's husband – she's just not that kinda gal."

Harley sighed heavily, realizing that talking to him was useless. He would never believe a bad word about Jeannie – he was too blinded by her. "Puddin'…do you remember what you said to me on our first date, about what our life together was going to be like?"

"Yeah," said Joker, nodding. "I said it would be a tightrope walk – a challenging and dangerous way to live, but one that comes with a breathtaking view."

"And you said if I ever fell off the tightrope, you would catch me," reminded Harley. "You said I could always count on you being there to catch me if I fell. Well, I feel like I'm falling now, Mr. J. I feel like I'm losing my balance, and my stability, and everything I was certain of is suddenly changing. I need you to be here to catch me."

Joker kissed her forehead gently. "You only think you're falling, baby," he murmured. "But you're just losing perspective. I'm gonna be temporarily absent for a little while, but then I'm coming back home to you and the kiddies. I'm always here to catch you if you fall. Distance doesn't change that, especially not temporary distance like some dumb tour. I'll be back before you can even begin to miss me."

He tilted her chin up. "So chin up, huh, kiddo?" he murmured.

Harley forced a smile. "Ok, puddin'," she murmured.

"That's my girl!" he repeated, kissing her. "Now I gotta go talk to Harvey – see you at home!" he said, re-entering the station.

Harley sighed again. She knew there was nothing she could do to talk him out of this obsession of his – it would just have to run its course. But there was this terrible possibility in the back of her mind that she might lose him to it. Some people never did see the error of their ways, or grow out of their obsessions. She was seriously afraid that he'd leave her for Jeannie, and the two of them would conquer the world together, seeking the fame and adulation of the masses. While she would be left alone with the children, who were just not enough for him anymore. And neither was she.

It hurt, more than anything else. The pain was stronger than the rage or the fear. She wanted to scream at him for hurting her like this, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. He wouldn't understand. He would just have to make his own mistakes, and find out the error of his ways for himself. Harley just hoped she wouldn't lose him forever in the meantime.


	12. Chapter 12

It was a sad day for Harley and the twins as they saw Joker off on the train for the beginning of Jeannie's tour. Arleen and J.J. chased after the train, waving until it was out of sight, while Harley remained on the platform, watching the train disappear and wondering if her husband was disappearing forever with it.

The Joker was similarly downcast at having to say goodbye to his family, but cheered up when he saw Bruce Wayne in a neighboring cabin. "So you're coming along for the ride after all, huh, Brucie?" he chuckled, sitting down next to him.

"I'm here to see Miss Lind perform," retorted Bruce. "Being her manager, I suppose you're a necessary evil I have to endure, but I was rather hoping we could avoid each other as much as possible."

"Aw, well, I was hoping I'd get a positive review outta you, Brucie, so I guess we're both gonna be disappointed," said Joker, nodding.

"How are you feeling, J?" asked Jeannie, entering the cabin at that moment. "I know leaving your kids must have been difficult."

"Well, they're strong – they'll cope," said Joker. "But I can't say I won't miss them like crazy. Harley will do a good job taking care of 'em in my absence though, don't worry."

"I wasn't," said Jeannie. "She seems like a capable woman, if a little…highly strung."

"Well, she can be," said Joker, nodding. "And she doesn't understand this whole wanting to be successful thing. I suppose you don't either, Brucie," he said, turning to Bruce.

"I think Bruce and Harley are similar in that they were both born into positions of privilege," said Jeannie. "Which means they can't really understand it."

"Everything I do is successful, and impresses everyone," retorted Bruce. "So no, I can't understand craving something that some of us were born with."

"I think you have to come from our background to understand it, J," said Jeannie. "You have to live a life of hardship and struggle, and to not know what it feels like to be appreciated for your talents."

"My talents are always appreciated," agreed Bruce, nodding. "As well as my impeccable critical writing skills, I am also renowned for my detective work – I have aided the police in putting many criminals behind bars."

"Yeah?" asked Joker. "You don't know who robbed the First National Bank several months back, do you?"

"No, nobody does," replied Bruce. "But I daresay I shall crack that case one day."

"If anyone can, it's you," said Joker, in what he hoped wasn't too sarcastic a tone. Bruce didn't seem to pick up on it, turning to Jeannie.

"I wonder, Miss Lind, if I could perhaps have a private interview with you?" he asked. "The readers of the Gotham Gazette, in which my reviews are published, would be fascinated to hear a bit about the young woman preparing to capture the hearts of the entire country with her beauty and talent."

"I would be honored, Mr. Wayne," Jeannie said, nodding.

"Well, that's my cue," said Joker, standing up to leave. "Don't take too long, Brucie – we'll be in Metropolis before you know it, and Jeannie needs time to warm up before the show."

"Of course," said Bruce, nodding. "When we get to Metropolis, Miss Lind, there's a reporter by the name of Mr. Kent you should avoid – he's a rival of mine…"

Joker left them to the interview, heading into his cabin and reviewing the arrangements he had made. He had booked out the entire opera house in Metropolis - he had had to buy all the seats in advance just to make the booking, which had set him back a ways financially, but he was confident they would all sell at a profit. He had hyped and promoted Jeannie so much in Gotham that word had spread all over the country, and he knew they would be swamped by crowds from the moment of their arrival.

And he was right. From Metropolis to Keystone to Central City to Blüdhaven, they were met with crowds lining up around the block, and completely sold out performances. And on the night of the Blüdhaven performance, Joker's dream came true.

He knocked on the door to Jeannie's dressing room, beaming as he held a newspaper in his hand. "You can forget about buying me that cane, toots," said Joker, as Jeannie opened the door. He held out the paper to her.

"He didn't!" exclaimed Jeannie, grabbing it from him and scanning it eagerly. "He did! _Voice of a Nightingale Tour a Success, by Bruce Wayne...It is as though we have learned for the first time what singing really is. Miss Lind deserves our nation's highest esteem and most lavish ovations. Mr. Joker is also to be congratulated for bringing Miss Lind to our country, and for letting the citizens of the United States of America be privileged enough to hear the most incredible singer the world has ever known._ "

"I mean, that's as good a compliment as I'm ever gonna get from Brucie," said Joker, shrugging. "But frankly, a congratulations is more than I ever hoped. So I guess you win the bet, toots."

"Yes, I guess I do," she said, smiling at him. "I think this calls for some champagne, don't you?" she asked, beckoning him into the dressing room. "I just can't believe it – the world at our feet!"

"It is a strange feeling," agreed Joker. "I gotta say, I kinda like it."

"That's what I love about you, J – your sense of understatement," said Jeannie, smiling as she handed him a glass of champagne. She raised hers in a toast. "Well, Mr. Joker, this is to making dreams come true," she said.

"It's what I do," said Joker, shrugging as he chinked his glass against hers. He sipped from it, and then said, "Now what do I owe you on this bet?"

"I'm sure I can think of something," said Jeannie, smiling at him. "We have about an hour before the show?"

"Give or take," said Joker, glancing at his watch. "I could buy you a late lunch someplace if you want…"

"That's not really what I want from you, J," she said. "I mean, I've sort of given you the world, haven't I? And I hardly think a little lunch is fair in return."

"It could be a really big lunch," said Joker.

"It's not about the lunch," retorted Jeannie. "It's about me giving you everything you've always wanted. I think it's only fair you give me everything in return."

"I'm not following you, toots," he said, genuinely confused.

"Forgive me – I'll make things a bit more clear," she murmured. And she suddenly kissed him.

Joker was too stunned to push her away for a moment, but the instant he realized what was happening, he did. "Woah…ok…I think there's been some kinda…misunderstanding…" he stammered.

"I don't think so," she murmured. "I understand you, J. I understand you more than anyone else ever has. And we belong together, the two of us, both outcasts in a society that has never appreciated us. Your wife could never understand what we've been through, and the trials we've shared – what could a spoiled, pampered, privileged woman like that ever understand about true art, and true suffering? But you and I, we deserve to be together. We deserve the happiness that only we can give each other, the happiness born from years of pain and rejection. I've seen the way you look at me, and I know you want me. So why deny ourselves that happiness that society has denied us for so long? We should defy society together – we should love each other freely. You are all I want in the world anymore, now that we've conquered the rest of it together."

"That's…um…nice," stammered Joker. "And I'm…really flattered. But…uh…I really don't think Harley would approve and…I honestly don't feel that way about you. You and I, I always thought, were just good friends…"

"Friends?" repeated Jeannie. "Are you really that blind to my feelings?"

"Apparently so," replied Joker. "Anyway, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was interested, but I'm really not. I'm happily married, and whether or not Harley understands me isn't that relevant, because she trusts me and accepts me and loves me. I love her completely, so there's really no room for another woman in my life. I'm sorry, Jeannie."

She stared at him. "You were never…interested in me?" she stammered. "I was just another one of your little acts?"

"Well, you were a big act…" began Joker.

"How dare you play with my feelings like that?" she demanded.

"I certainly didn't mean to do that," retorted Joker. "And I'm sorry if you're under the impression that I did."

"Oh, this is my fault for being delusional?" demanded Jeannie.

"If you think I'm in love with you, then yes," retorted Joker.

"I don't believe this!" she exclaimed, slamming her glass down. "That's it – I'm done," she said, grabbing her costumes off the rack. "I'm ending this stupid tour right now!"

"Jeannie, you can't do that!" he exclaimed, grabbing her hand. "I've bought out a dozen other theaters – if you quit now, you'll ruin me!"

"When you're careless with other people, Mr. Joker, you bring ruin upon yourself," she retorted, wrenching her hand from his.

"I risked everything for you!" hissed Joker.

"Well, so did I," she retorted. "It seems we both lost."

They glared at each other. "Jeannie…do tonight's performance at least," said Joker. "Please. I'll try and recoup the money from the other venues – maybe if I tell them it's a family emergency they'll go easy on me…"

"Yes, that's all you can do, lie and cheat and con people," retorted Jeannie. "You really are a fraud, and I was a fool to have fallen for you."

"That's fine – I'll take the verbal abuse as long as you do the performance tonight," said Joker. "Those people out there live miserable, crappy lives in this awful, knockoff version of Gotham – the least you can do is entertain them for one night. I mean, you got to kiss me – surely that's worth one performance?"

"Don't flatter yourself," retorted Jeannie. But she sighed deeply. "I'll do tonight's show, but I'm doing it for them, not for you," she said, rounding on him. "After tonight, I never want to see you again."

"Believe me, the feeling's mutual," retorted Joker. "Not even Bruce Wayne's positive review is worth putting up with this melodrama. But I guess that's what you expect from an actress."

"Yes, and lies, trickery, and deception are what you expect from a clown," retorted Jeannie. "And without me, J, that's all you'll ever be."

"Y'know, suddenly that doesn't seem so bad," replied Joker. "At least I'm always happy."

"Well, that makes one of us," she retorted. "And perhaps you won't be for long."

Joker thought her words were just bitter sniping considering the situation, but they were worse than that. During the curtain call of her final performance that night, when she beckoned Joker on stage for his bow, she suddenly drew him into the center of the stage and kissed him again. Joker quickly shoved her away, but not before a few photographers had managed to snap a picture of the two of them in a lovers' embrace. "What was that?" demanded Joker, glaring at her.

"That was goodbye," Jeannie retorted, glaring back. "And good luck. You're going to need it," she added, sauntering off the stage.


	13. Chapter 13

Back in Gotham, things weren't going much better. Although Ivy and Dent were happy enough together, the protestors were back in front of the circus, and louder and more aggressive than ever. Dent's public appearance with Ivy had lost him a lot of influence among the powerful, who had decided to shun him for casting his lot in with freaks and weirdos. Even though Dent repeatedly called the police on the protestors, they became slower and slower to respond until they didn't appear at all. It became very apparent to everyone that they would have to take matters into their own hands again.

The night after Jeannie's final performance, Harley received a telegram before the circus began. It was from the Joker, saying that he was returning home suddenly that night. Harley was overjoyed, and pulled the children out of the audience and herself out of the show, telling Dent to carry on without her while she and the twins went to go meet Joker at the train station. Which turned out to be a very good move.

As the audience tried to enter the circus, they were blocked by protestors chanting, "Don't encourage the freaks! Get them out of our town! Make Gotham respectable again!"

"Oh, come on, when has Gotham ever been respectable?" demanded Dent, as he went to confront the protestors with the circus behind him. "You're just being ridiculous. Now get the hell out of the way, or Crane's gonna fear gas you again."

"You can't fear gas us without gassing your audience," snarled one of the protestors.

"No, but my plants can be very precise at ripping people apart," said Ivy, glaring at him.

"And my animals can turn very selectively aggressive, if so desired," spoke up Tetch.

"Plus Croc and Bane can rip you limb from limb with their bare hands," agreed Dent. "Do you really want to make them angry?"

"We're not afraid of you, freaks," growled the protestor. "We just want you out of here. Pack up your little band of mistakes and degenerates, and leave our town."

"This is our town too," snapped Ivy. "And we're not going anywhere. We don't care if you like it or not, but that's the way it's gonna be."

"We're not going to let Gotham City become a place synonymous with freaks and weirdos!" shouted a protestor. "If you don't leave voluntarily, we'll make you!"

"You do your worst!" snapped Ivy. "Because I guarantee whatever it is, we can do worse to you! And in the end, we're gonna prevail, because guess what, pal? Your hatred isn't going to destroy our love of ourselves, and of each other!" she exclaimed, taking Dent's hand. "We are stronger than you, and there is nothing you can do to hurt us!"

In an attempt to instantly prove her wrong, one of the protestors swung a punch at Ivy, which was blocked by Dent, who struck back, flooring the man. "Anyone else?" he demanded, as the entire circus tensed and readied for action.

The protestors charged them, and were instantly met with all the fury which the members of the circus had kept locked inside for so long. The brawl escalated and grew in violence, until Bane picked up a protestor and threw him through a wall. Furious, the protestor picked up a lantern and smashed it on the ground. The flame caught the straw on the floor and spread quickly, engulfing the entire building in a matter of seconds…

…

"Are you three a sight for sore eyes!" exclaimed the Joker as he hopped off the train and held out his arms. His children raced into them, squealing in happiness, with Harley right behind them. They all covered him with kisses, which he returned, drawing Harley aside and kissing her deeply.

"What made you decide to come back early?" asked Harley, beaming at him.

"Well, I missed my family," replied Joker. "And Jeannie seemed to have things…well in hand, so…"

He was prevented from making up any further lies as they left the station to the sound of fire engines. "Get out of the way – we've got to get to the circus!" shouted the lead engine to the carriages in its way.

"Oh my God, what now?" demanded Joker. "Can't we leave them alone for five minutes?!"

"Harvey said he could handle things…" began Harley, but Joker had already dashed off in the wake of the engines, and Harley and the children followed him.

They were all horrified to see the circus ablaze with light – the fire had consumed enough of it that it was only a matter of time before the whole building collapsed. "Is everyone out?" demanded Joker, racing into the crowd and trying to make out faces through the smoke.

"Yes, we think so," gasped Tetch, coughing. "Although we had to let the animals go – their panic at the fire overrode my mind control, which is a good feature to know about, actually…"

"Where's Ivy?" demanded Dent, looking around. "Ivy?" he called, increasingly desperately.

"No, Harvey, don't you dare…" began Joker, but Dent had already rushed into the burning building.

"Harvey, the Weed Lady's not worth it!" cried Joker.

"What am I not worth?" demanded Ivy, who had just now appeared on the scene, coughing from the smoke.

"Oh great, you're not even in there!" snapped Joker. "Now Harvey's gonna die for nothing!"

"Harvey's in there?" gasped Ivy, and she charged forward, about to run into the building herself.

"No, you don't!" snapped Joker, seizing her. "I'm not losing another act!"

"You can't let him die in there!" cried Ivy.

Joker looked at her, and then looked at his family who had just caught up to him. Then he looked at the building, swore loudly, and raced inside. "Puddin', no, come back!" shrieked Harley. "Come back!"

She was cut off as the roof suddenly collapsed, and the whole building caved in. Everyone screamed, and Harley burst into tears. "He's gonna be ok," said Ivy, embracing her and the children, as she tried to reassure herself of that fact. "He's gonna stay alive to spite me, just you wait."

Everyone did wait, as the seconds ticked by like hours, until suddenly Joker emerged from the building, supporting an unconscious Dent on his shoulder. "Harvey!" cried Ivy, racing forward to help support him. "Oh my God, Harvey…" she whispered, staring at him.

"He can't hear you, but he's alive," muttered Joker, as he lay him down on the ground. "Got severe burns on half his face, and probably over half his body. We need to get him to a hospital ASAP," he said, gesturing for the firemen to bring a stretcher.

"Is Harvey gonna be ok, Daddy?" asked Arleen, as the twins raced to hug Joker after Dent was carried off, with Ivy following him.

"I sure hope so, princess," said Joker, kissing her.

"Are _we_ gonna be ok, puddin'?" asked Harley, as they watched the remains of the circus burn to the ground.

"Sure we are," said Joker, in a forced cheerful tone. "This is just a little bump in the road, which we've had tons of before. We'll survive it – what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, or something like that."

But honestly at the moment it seemed like things had hit rock bottom – first his financial situation at Jeannie's cancellation of her tour, then her misunderstanding of his feelings and their quarrel, and now Dent's injuries on top of the destruction of the circus, his one source of income. Joker didn't see at this point how things could get any worse for him, but he would find out the next day.


	14. Chapter 14

"Bruce Wayne! Come to gloat?" asked Joker the next day, as he dug through the rubble which was all that remained of his circus.

"I came to inform you that the miscreants who started the fire have been apprehended," said Bruce. "By myself, as it happens, using my incredible detective skills. They'll be charged with arson and incitement to violence, and be sent to prison, thanks to me."

"Good for you," said Joker, he hoped not too sarcastically. Bruce didn't pick up on the sarcasm, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a flask.

"You look like you could use a drink," he commented.

"I could," agreed Joker, taking it from him and sitting down on the ground. Bruce sat down next to him, and they drank in silence.

"I never liked your show," said Bruce.

"Gee, you never mentioned that before," said Joker, sarcastically. "Why didn't you say something sooner, Brucie?"

"But I always thought the people did," continued Bruce.

"They did," agreed Joker. "They do. Everybody loves a clown."

"Mind you, I wouldn't call it art," said Bruce at last. "But putting folks of all kinds on stage with you, all colors, shapes, sizes, presenting them as equals…why, another critic might have even called it a celebration of humanity."

"I would have liked that," said Joker, nodding.

"Not me, of course," said Bruce. "I still think it's fairly disgusting. But I can't help admitting, there's some small part of me that hopes you'll rebuild. After all, it would be out of character for you to give up when you've seen how much persisting annoys me," he added, with a small smile.

"Why Bruce Wayne, you can smile!" said Joker, astonished. "I never thought I'd see the day!"

"I won't make a habit of it," retorted Bruce, going back to his sullen self suddenly. "But I am curious to see where you can go from here, and how you'll outdo yourself now, after Miss Lind."

"Well, I'm staying well away from her and your crowd, for one thing," said Joker, nodding. "I learned my lesson about that – I don't belong there. I belong here, with the people who really matter to me, and the people who truly care for me."

He stood up, patting Bruce on the shoulder. "But you should stop by once we're up and running again, Brucie – when we were on the tour, I got a tip on a cat-woman I'm hoping I can entice to join the Joker's Circus of Fun, Part II, Even More Fun, which is a working title…"

"I wouldn't try enticing any woman after Miss Lind – you can see how badly that ended for you," said Bruce, nodding at a newspaper he was holding. "I understand you're so unscrupulous that you're a fan of publicity at any cost, but I really think this scandal is going to backfire in your face."

"What are you talking about?" asked Joker.

"Oh, you haven't heard?" asked Bruce, holding the paper out to him. Joker took it and stared in horror at the front page, which had printed the picture of him and Jeannie kissing, with the headline: _Joker Scandal is No Joke – Jeannie Lind Confirms Affair, and How She Was Compelled to End It for the Sake of the Children_.

"That lying little…" Joker hissed, furious, as he scanned the article.

"Your wife must be a very tolerant woman, to put up with such behavior," commented Bruce.

"No, she's…she's not," stammered Joker, eyes widening as he realized Harley must have seen this. "I'm sorry – I gotta go," he said, throwing the paper back at Bruce and racing home as fast as he could.

He felt his heart sink as he entered his home to complete silence, which was unheard of in the Joker household. "Leenie? J.J.? Harley?" he called, racing from room to room.

He found Harley in the bedroom, calmly packing a suitcase. "Where are the kiddies?" he asked.

"They're at my parents' house," murmured Harley, not looking up at him but continuing to pack. "I didn't want them to be here for when the reporters came this morning – after all, according to Jeannie Lind, children should never be subjected to such things, and should be shielded from marital problems as much as possible. They're the victims here, not me, apparently."

"Harley, it's not true!" Joker exclaimed, seizing her arms. "Nothing happened between us! She orchestrated this kiss as revenge because I refused her, and I immediately shoved her away, and…I'm not in love with her!"

"No, of course you're not!" Harley snapped, shoving herself away from him. "Not with her, not with me, not with anyone, just you and your show! You want to see how far you can climb, and you don't want a wife and kids weighing you down, so we won't anymore. You clearly don't need us…"

"I do need you!" he exclaimed. "Harley, please, I've learned my lesson…you don't have to go!"

"I can't stay here with you," she retorted, gazing at him with tears in her eyes. "I don't even know you anymore. I want the man I fell in love with, the man I married, the man who made me smile and laugh and promised me fun, and you're not him. You've become someone else, someone obsessed with success at any cost, someone who lies to me, and hides things from me, and does everything without asking me. And the fun is gone. I never minded our precarious and spontaneous life before, Mr. J, because when we took risks, we always did it together. But now you've shut me out. You've shut your family out. And if that's the life you want, you're going to live it alone. I'm done," she said, closing her suitcase and heading for the door.

"Harley, you can't leave me!" he cried, racing after her and catching her.

"Why not? You left me a long time ago," she replied. The tears trailed down her face as she stared up at him. "When I saw that picture this morning, I fell," she whispered. "And you weren't there to catch me."

She pushed herself away from him and then headed out the door, slamming it shut behind her.


	15. Chapter 15

There was a bar around the corner from where the circus used to stand called _The Stacked Deck_. After Harley walked out, it was too depressing for Joker to stay in an empty home alone, so he headed there instead. He nursed a glass of whisky as he wondered how he had let this happen, how he had let everything get so out of hand that even Harley, the most devoted and loyal woman in the world, had had enough of him. He had thought that by chasing his wild dreams of success, he could have everything, and he had lost everything in the process. There was a bitter irony in there somewhere, but the Joker didn't appreciate irony – this particular joke was on him, and it wasn't funny at all.

His depressing musings were interrupted by the circus entering the bar. "We figured we'd find you here, feeling sorry for yourself," said Tetch, sitting down next to him.

"Don't have anyplace else to go now," muttered Joker. "And neither do any of you, so you might as well join me here at the self-pity party."

He looked around. "Where's Ivy? She should probably be celebrating my misfortune."

"She's still at the hospital with Mr. Dent," said Crane. "She hasn't left his side since he was brought in."

"Any word on how he's doing?" asked Joker.

"Well, he hasn't woken up yet, but the doctors say he'll pull through," said Crane. "But he will…suffer permanent scarring from his burns."

Joker sighed. "Another person who woulda been a lot better off without getting involved with me. I'm like a bad luck charm, ruining everyone's life..."

"Oh, do shut up, Joker," snapped Tetch. "I understand that you're feeling low, but you mustn't talk nonsense. That's my job for one thing, and for another, you mustn't give yourself so much credit. You did pull us out of the shadows, but in the end, it was our choice to join up with you, all of us, including Mr. Dent. And perhaps you are a fraud, and perhaps you were just using all of us to make a quick buck. But you gave us…a real family, and a home. I don't think any of us regret getting involved with you or your crazy circus idea. We just want our home back."

"So do I," muttered Joker, staring at the bottom of his empty glass. He sighed deeply. "It's kinda funny, I guess – when a guy loses everything, it can almost be a good thing, because he realizes what's really important to him. I was sipping champagne with kings and queens only a few months ago, but that was never something I really wanted, only something I thought I wanted, the pitfalls of the man I became. I kept chasing crazy dream after crazy dream, never satisfied and always wanting more, but when I stopped racing around for a second, I remembered what it was all for. I was doing all this for Harley and the kiddies…or at least that's what I told myself. I was actually doing it for me – I enjoyed the applause, and the fame, and the respect from people who had never respected me before. I craved the adoration of everyone, and it cost me the actual love of the people who matter most."

"I don't think it has," said Tetch. "At least, not permanently. Of course I'm no expert on love, but I think if you go after Harley, she'll forgive you. That's what love is, after all – the ability to forgive, as long as one truly repents and changes, of course."

"Trust me, Tetchy, from now on, these eyes will not be blinded by the light," said Joker. "From now on, there's nothing more important than my family. And I'm getting them back right now," he said, standing up suddenly and racing out the door.

"Well, I think our work here is done," said Tetch, standing up. "I always was good at giving a pep talk – shall we, gentlemen?"

"Hang on," said the bartender, blocking the exit. "That Joker guy drank a heck of a lot, and if he ain't picking up the tab, one of you freaks is."

"Oh. How much did he drink?" asked Tetch.

The amount astounded each member of the circus – as they all pooled what remaining money they had left, Crane muttered, "He'd better restart the damn circus after this – he owes us big."

…

For the second time in his life, Joker found himself standing outside the door to the Quinzel mansion feeling incredibly anxious. The first time was when he had picked Harley up after she had agreed to marry him, when he felt terrified of disappointing her in not giving her the kind of life she was accustomed to. And now he was terrified that she might not take him back after what he had done in pursuit of that life, and that he had lost her and the kids forever.

He knocked on the door, and it was opened by Mr. Quinzel, who just looked at him. "I'd like to see my wife, please," said Joker, removing his hat.

"She's not here," retorted Mr. Quinzel.

"Daddy!" exclaimed Arleen and J.J., rushing between Mr. Quinzel's legs and into Joker's arms.

"Oh, groupies, I missed you!" Joker exclaimed, picking them up and kissing them. "Where's Mommy?"

"Dunno – she went out," said J.J. "Said she wanted to let off some steam on some people who deserve it."

"Well, I wonder where…" began Joker, but then he trailed off. "I know where she is," he said, kissing his children again. "I'll be back soon – you behave for your grandparents!" he said, racing off.

Joker found her where he expected to find her – the wax museum where they had gone on their first date had long since gone out of business, and the wax figures had just been abandoned in the empty building. Harley was there, smashing the figures to pieces.

"You shouldn't take your rage out on them – they ain't done anything," said Joker. "I mean, they committed horrible crimes in real life, but the figures are innocent. You wanna beat someone up who deserves it, you should be taking a swing at me."

"You don't know how tempted I am," muttered Harley, smashing another wax figure's face in, and stomping on the remains.

"I came to apologize," said Joker. "Which I know ain't very like me, but I'm trying to change, and I wanted to tell you that…I'm sorry. I brought hardship on you, and our family. You warned me, and I wouldn't listen. I just…I wanted to be more than I was."

Harley turned to look at him. "I never wanted anything but the man I fell in love with," she murmured. "And I told you that, but you don't listen!" she exclaimed, punching another figure's face.

"Baby, as much as I love the wanton destruction, I really think it'll help you more if you just hit me…" began Joker.

"What would help is if you listened to me!" shouted Harley. "And respected me enough to realize I know what I'm talking about! And trusted me enough to tell me everything, even if the truth is harsh and unpleasant! It's better to hear it from you than to find out through some stupid newspaper headline…"

"Harley, I swear, nothing happened with Jeannie," said Joker.

"And nothing would have ever happened if you had just listened when I told you she was interested, and not gone on tour with her!" snapped Harley. "And when I told you that we don't need her, or anytime I tried to correct any of the stupid mistakes you've made since you suddenly decided you want to be a better person! I don't want you to be a better person, you dumb clown! I want you just the way you are! I accepted you, and the life you offered, not because I was hoping everything would improve, but because I fell in love with you as you were! The one thing I never wanted to change was you! Maybe you ain't perfect, and maybe our life wasn't perfect, but it was for me! And if I can't have you back as you were before this whole success madness started, then I don't want you back at all!"

"Harley, I swear, from now on, I'm gonna be the man you deserve…" began Joker.

"Not the man I deserve!" snapped Harley. "Because I probably deserve a helluva lot better, but I fell in love with you, you idiot! So just be yourself, which is the man I want! Be the wonderful husband and father you always were, whose first priority was always being there for his family. And whose second priority was being the greatest showman this dumb town had ever seen. And if that show only features freaks and weirdos, who cares? Because that's where we fit right in. Those are the people we belong with, and those are the people who deserve to be seen after being hidden in the shadows for so long. Besides, they're our family now, and watching your family grow is everything you ever want, and everything you ever need, and it's here right in front of you, so why would you ever want more? It's the greatest show on earth, isn't it?"

"It is, baby," agreed Joker, nodding. "You and the kiddies are everything I want and everything I need, from now on."

She approached him slowly, and then suddenly punched him hard in the jaw. "That was for kissing Jeannie," she muttered. And then she hugged him tightly, and kissed him tenderly. "And that's for coming back to us," she whispered.

They held each other for a long time, and Joker planted a kiss on her forehead. "Come on," he said, taking her hand. "Let's get the kiddies and go home."

"I like the sound of that," said Harley, beaming at him. "But I feel kinda bad just leaving this mess here," she added, gesturing around them.

"Nah, this place always was a dump," said Joker. "Don't feel bad for messing it up more. We do have a real mess to clean up back home with the remains of the circus, though."

"I have absolute confidence in you, puddin'," she said, taking his arm as they headed for the door. "You always have been good at finding your way out of messes."


	16. Chapter 16

When Harvey Dent opened his eyes in the hospital, the first thing he saw was Ivy holding his hand. "You're here," he whispered. "You're safe."

She nodded, tears in her eyes as she kissed his hand held in hers. "What happened?" asked Dent, struggling to remember. "The fire…is everyone ok? Was anyone hurt?"

Ivy shook her head slowly, raising a hand up to touch his face. "How are you feeling, baby?" she whispered.

"Fine, although half my face feels kinda numb," said Dent, reaching up his hand to touch hers. "I can't really feel your hand there – did they give me some kinda laudanum?"

Ivy bent down to kiss him tenderly. "Harvey…I just want you to know…it doesn't make any difference to me," she whispered.

"What doesn't make any difference to you?" asked Dent, puzzled.

Ivy slowly held up a mirror to show him his face. Dent stared at his reflection in shock. "Oh…my God," he whispered, touching his face. Then he looked at his hand, and noticed the same scarring there that marred half his face. "Is it…everywhere?" he asked, slowly.

Ivy nodded. "The entire half of your body. But Harvey, you shouldn't be upset about this – I still love you…"

"Upset?" repeated Dent, looking at her. "Well, maybe a little, but…don't you see, Ivy?" he asked, taking her hands again. "In a way, it's the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I'm…gonna be considered a freak now. So any fears you had about us not being together should be laid to rest, because I'm just like the rest of you. I fit in, and we can belong together without any reservations on your part. Assuming you still want me like this, of course," he added. "A woman like you can do a lot better than a guy with half a face."

"And a guy like you can do a lot better than some plant freak," whispered Ivy, with tears in her eyes. "But I'm not letting you go for anything in the world. And nobody can say we don't belong together now."

They kissed again. "Think J will let me join the circus for real?" asked Dent with a grin as they drew apart at last. "He's gotta be able to think up an act for a two-faced man, right?"

"If he manages to rebuild the circus after the fire, sure," said Ivy, nodding. "But I dunno how he's gonna do that – he doesn't have any money left, as far as I know."

"Hey, he's J," said Dent, shrugging. "I'm sure he'll figure out something."

…

"Just take it all!" hissed Joker, as he and Dent crouched in front of the safe in the bank they had just broken into. "And hurry up about it!"

"This was a terrible idea of yours," muttered Dent, grabbing wads of cash and stuffing them into a sack. "You couldn't have asked the bank for a loan to start up the circus again, like last time?"

"This _is_ how I got the money last time," retorted Joker. "Remember that robbery on the First National Bank? That was me."

Dent stared at him. "You said it definitely wasn't you…" he began.

"I lied, obviously," retorted Joker. "Now don't look at me like that – it was the only way! Nobody would lend money to a guy like me, so I had to take matters into my own hands! It's called the spirit of enterprise, and it's what made this country great!"

"This really is a low point in my life – going from District Attorney to common thief," sighed Dent, as they tied up the sacks full of money.

"Yeah, your life was a lot better before you joined up with me – I know," snapped Joker. "That whole two-face thing is basically my fault…"

"I told Ivy and I'm telling you, I don't mind the two-face thing," said Dent. "And yes, I suppose it is your fault," he added, as they loaded the sacks into the carriage waiting outside. "Before I met you, I had fame, respect, and the regard of high society. And now thanks to you I've lost all that, and I'm left with only friendship, love, and work I adore. I wouldn't go back to the way things were for anything, even if my life now does involve a little petty crime."

"We'll pay it all back once the circus is up and running and successful again," said Joker, as they climbed onto the carriage.

"Is that what you did with the money you stole last time?" asked Dent.

"Maybe," said Joker, whipping the horses so they galloped off into the streets of Gotham.

"Any sign of the cops?" asked Joker, as they rode.

"Not yet," said Dent. "But there is this weird shadow following us."

"What weird shadow?" asked Joker, turning to look.

"I dunno – it looks kinda like a bat…" began Dent, but he was cut off as the shadow suddenly collided with him, knocking him from the carriage. Joker pulled up sharply on the reigns, halting the horses in their tracks.

"You ok, Harv?" he called.

"I think so…what the hell hit me?" demanded Dent, standing up and rubbing his head.

"I did," growled a voice from the shadows. "You freaks are going to put that money back now, and follow me to prison where all of your kind belong."

Joker looked at the man in the bat costume standing in front of him. "Bruce?" he asked. "Bruce Wayne?"

"No," snapped the man in the bat costume, a little too hastily. "I'm Batman."

"Batman, huh?" asked Joker. "Well, whatever floats your boat, Brucie. I mean, I understand you wanting to fight crime, but why the bat costume?"

"First of all, I'm not Bruce Wayne," snapped Batman. "And second of all, I dress this way to intimidate criminals, who are a cowardly, superstitious lot."

"I think even cowardly and superstitious people aren't going to be frightened off by a guy in a costume, but I could be wrong," said Joker, shrugging. "I'm certainly not though. So if you were hoping to intimidate us into putting this money back and following you to prison, you're going to be severely disappointed."

"No, I'm just going to be forced to fight you," retorted Batman.

"Well, I guess you could, but if the police come running, you'll be arrested along with us for disturbing the peace and incitement to violence," said Joker, nodding. "And would that really be good for your reputation, Brucie, to engage with common thieves like us?"

"For the last time, I'm not Bruce Wayne!" snapped Batman.

"C'mon, Brucie, give it up," said Joker. "I know you, and you're the only person crazy enough to think this is a good idea, and rich enough to get that detailed of a costume. You know, if you're bored, there are other ways to preoccupy yourself rather than costumed crime-fighting."

Batman said nothing. "Like what?" he asked at last.

"Well, have you ever thought of joining the circus?" asked Joker, with a grin. "I'm sure I can think of an act for a Batman."

…

"We got five minutes to curtain, ladies and gents!" announced the Joker, as he circled the tent which was the new home of the Joker's Circus of Fun. "So places, everyone! Where's Batman? I want him opening the show with a light behind his cape, sorta like some kinda Bat-signal…"

"I think he's still showing Catwoman around, puddin'," said Harley.

"Still?" repeated Joker, glancing at his watch. "It's been like an hour!"

"I think those two are kinda interested in each other, in case you didn't notice the goo-goo eyes they were giving each other," said Harley.

"I didn't," admitted Joker. "Well, that's just what I need – another lovebird couple. As if Harvey and Ivy didn't nauseate me enough."

"I think it's sweet," said Harley, kissing him. "And so do you, deep down inside. Maybe we won't be the only ones with kids for regular groupies soon."

"Speaking of which, have they got cotton candy?" asked Joker, glancing behind the curtain and waving at his children on the front row. They waved back enthusiastically, devouring their large cones of cotton candy.

"I know they're happy that they don't have to wear fancy clothes ever again, so they can eat all the cotton candy they want as messily as they want," said Harley, smiling as she took his hand.

"Yeah, there are perks to being social outcasts," agreed Joker, nodding. "The biggest one being you and the kiddies, of course."

"Well, they couldn't be happier with things the way they are," said Harley, nodding at the children and their beaming smiles.

"Neither could I," agreed Joker, kissing her. "Now, is everyone ready?" he asked, glancing around. "For the opening night of the Joker's Circus of Fun, Part II, Even More Fun, featuring the new Two-Faced Man, the Catwoman, and the Batman?"

"Why do they get billings and not us?" demanded Ivy.

"Because you're old news, Weed Lady," retorted Joker. "Everyone's seen you, which means you don't attract audiences anymore. Besides, I thought you were against being billed as Poison Ivy."

"It's not so bad," said Ivy, shrugging. "At least it teaches people not to mess with me."

"That's kinda a long title for the show," said Batman. "Why don't we just call it Batman and the Superfriends?"

"Because you don't have any friends, Bruce, super or otherwise," retorted Joker.

"For the last time, I'm not Bruce, because Bruce Wayne could never be seen in such company," retorted Batman. "I'm Batman."

"Sure, whatever you say," said Joker, rolling his eyes. "Keep the mask on, Brucie, if you don't want people to know you're crazy like the rest of us. Anyway, we've been there and done that with the Superfriends thing. My title is fine."

"We could call it Batman Begins," suggested Batman. "Or Batman Forever…"

"This isn't all about you, Bruce!" snapped Joker. "If you're gonna be part of the circus, you're gonna have to share billing, because we're all a team here!"

"Then why is it called the Joker's Circus of Fun?" asked Batman.

"Because I'm the brains of this operation," retorted Joker. "And because I'm the one who brings the fun. And frankly, because I'm the one everyone really wants to see, and without me, none of you would be here."

"He's right," agreed Dent, taking Ivy's hand. "Like it or not, we all owe our happiness to him."

"And don't think he's not gonna gloat about it whenever he gets a chance," muttered Ivy.

"Ready when you are, J," said Dent, nodding at him. "Let's get out there and spread some smiles."

"It's what I do best," said Joker, nodding. "I am the Greatest Showman in Gotham, after all, and if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to entertain this miserable burg, then that's what I'm gonna do. So what are we waiting for, ladies and gents?" he asked, as the curtain rose. "Let the show begin!"

 **The End**


End file.
